Faux Pas Girls 1: Game On, Master (Monique)

Chapter 14: First things first

TCWDM: Para sa lahat ng nag-iipon ng coins at naghahanda na bilhin ang kuwentong ito, maraming salamat po ~

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How do you end a good conversation? I found myself asking over and over while Callan and I talked. I thought I wasn't much of a talker except with the poks. Dirty talker, yes, but talk as in communicate? As in talk with the intent to understand and be understood? I'd rather roll my eyes.

Conversations that last for hours with topics branching out to the infinity of the universe without boring me are rare. So it surprises and amazes me how easy it is to have one with Callan. Most of the men I know only care and talk about their dicks—how big it is, how often they can use it, and how mighty it is compared to their friends'. Most men sweet talk a girl to get under her skirt and sweet talk some more to slide in her hole. As the night progressed, I worried that Callan might be gay. That, or he's really an extinct version of his kind. How the hell could he talk to me for hours without any sign of boredom or any hint that he'd ask for a dick service? I'm in lust with him but he makes me forget. He makes me want him differently.

The fck. Baka nga attracted na ako sa kanya na hindi pisikal lang? Should I worry now? But worries are for later . . . when it's already out of hand. If I worry now, I'd just ruin the moment. And this, right here with him, is a moment.

"Why Aero-Eng, bukod sa kaya ng brain mo? Gusto mong maging piloto o gusto mong pumunta sa Mars?" I asked him.

We were seated on a bench at the park near our subdivision. Suot ko pa rin ang jacket niya. Hawak pa rin namin ang mga inumin. Streetlights were working and luminous, casting yellow light on everything—the trees, the field of grass, his eyes on me.

"Yes at yes. Gusto kong maging piloto at gusto kong pumunta sa Mars. Gusto ko ring mag-ayos ng eroplano." He chuckled after as if he didn't just told me something amazing.

I sipped on my chocolate drink. Maligamgam na iyon. "You must be eyeing NASA. May piloto sa family mo?"

"Yes. My dad at ang mga uncles ko."

"That's impressive. Astronaut?"

"Ako sana."

"Hmm." I smiled. "You have big dreams."

"Maybe. But why dream small?"

"True," sabi ko at tumanaw sa wala. There was no moon tonight. It's cloudy too. Hindi chilly so puwede kong ibalik ang jacket niya . . . pero ayoko. I might hold on to this all night. Puwede ring until tomorrow. "But mind you, I know people who only want simple things in life. 'Yong iba, 'yon talaga ang gusto—a spiritual, peaceful, and non-complicated life.

"But there were those too, who wouldn't dare to dream big. Those who's scared of their own possibilities. The less complicated a dream is . . . the easier it is to achieve. People equate happiness with achievements and to dream big is to work too hard and too long. We unfortunately glorified fate and luck than hard work. Some won't dare to dream big, in fear of all the work they have to put in."

The silence sat between us for a moment. I couldn't believe I said what I said and that I'm okay with him hearing it. Initially, I don't want him to think I'm more than the shallow, naughty me, because that would make it difficult to just bed him. You don't share your sincerest thoughts to just anyone, the same way you don't show your demons to just anyone. I want Callan to be just an LFG. A fck goal. A guy I'd get over easily once I'm done with him. But our conversation is just like great sex—you do it as you do it and enjoy it while its on.

"The freedom to dream is also a privilege, you know. I dream big because I can. If everyone's given the same opportunity, we'll all dream big. If we all have the money, the status, the connection—"