Secrets & Lies

Chapter 6

Jade

I was out on probation and my P.O told me I had to stay with my mama. I have been going to counseling so I can get better. My first night out was nothing enjoyable.

"Mama what is it that Marneeka does" I asked Big Mama as I was making us breakfast.

"She works for a cleaning company. They provide her with a company vehicle so she can get to and from work after school" she said without looking up from the newspaper.

"Mama, she doesn't even have a driver's license" I told her laughing.

She finally looked up with a disapproving look on her face.

"No, but she has her permits. Her birthday is next week and I'm going to take her to get them. Why do you want to see her fail?." she asked me.

I sipped my coffee and sat down next to her.

"Mama, I don't want her to fail. I want her to succeed and be better than me. You have done an amazing job raising her Mama but it's my time to get back in her life. Teach her the way of the world." I told her.

"Jade, she doesn't want anything to do with you. While you're here though, build a bond with your daughter. Show her you are changing. Don't convert her to that religious belief you on though" She said to me laughing.

"Mama you right. Imma cook tonight so you don't have to when you get off and I want us to all eat together so she can tell Esmerelda she can't stay tonight and I'm Muslim mama no different then you praying to your God." I smiled.

"Oh Lord, you about as bad as me with names. Her name is Isabella and that's Neek best friend. I'll send Neek a text though. Don't bring my holy ghost into this either." she said laughing.

I was headed to my probation office when I saw an old boyfriend. He is the reason I got hooked on drugs and went to Florida.

"Jade Miller, is that you" I heard him say.

I turned around and smiled.

"Hey Roy, how have you been" I said to him.

He licked his lips looking me up and down.

"I been good baby. I see you back in town. I got a little something for you if you ever want to chill" he said holding a bag of white powder up.

I resisted the urges and shook my head.

"Naw Roy, I'm clean. I can't go back to that stuff. I have to go see my P.O. You have a nice day" I told him walking away fast.

It's hard resisting the urge to do drugs but what Big Mama said stuck to me. I want to build a bond with Neek and I know them drugs is what grew a wedge between us.

I arrived at my probation officer office. She had a packed house.

"Jade Miller" I told the receptionist.

She looked through her files.

"Ms. Miller, you are attending the group therapy session down the hall room 102" she told me.

"Naw, I'm just here for my probation officer" I reiterated to her.

"That's what she put down. I'm sorry" she said before closing her window.

I went down the hall and went in the room where a bunch of people were in a circle. I sat down and didn't want to even be here. A man walked in and introduced himself.

"I'm Thomas and I'm here to help you. Some of you are here because it's apart of your probation or parole and some are here due to being newly free from prison and it was recommended. Never the less the goal is for you to find yourself and your greatest potential and apply it." He said to us.

He made us introduce ourself and I was so ready to go. I was dozing off when this young fine black man stood up.

"I'm Marcus, I was in prison for 2 years facing 15 years. I'm here because prison does something to you and I want better." He told the group.

I couldn't help but keep staring at him. He was cute and young and I haven't had a man's touch in a while.

After the meeting I got up and went to the refreshment table. I purposely bumped into Marcus.

"I'm sorry" I told him giving him a seductive look.

"Naw, you good." He said not even looking at me. He must be gay.

*********

After the meeting I got home and saw Neek was home. I walked into the house and went upstairs to her room. I saw she was packing an overnight bag.

"I thought Big Mama told you that we wanted you home tonight." I said to her standing in the door way.

She turned and looked at me.

"She sent me a text. I already made plans with Bella this weekend. Sorry Jade" she sarcastically said.

"Well you can cancel them Marneeka" I told her sternly while walking away.

She walked out her room behind me.

"Why can't you just die. I hate you and you may have birthed me but you're not my damn mother." She said.

"You keep saying that Neek, but it's not going to change the fact that I am still your mother and you hate that" I yelled with tears coming down my eyes.

"I'm leaving" she said.

I grabbed her arm and she pushed me

"Don't touch me" she said.

"Jade, let her go" My mama walked in the house and said with a stern voice.

"Mama, we had plans. We talked about this already" I told her.

"Jade, don't force it. Neek if you're leaving go. Drive safe and we will talk when you come back tomorrow." She told Neek.

Neek went and grabbed her bag off the bed and kissed Big mama on the cheek and left. I looked at my mama and shook my head.

"You undermined me mama" I told her.

"I am teaching you how to parent that girl" she said to me.

"You can't tell me how to be a mother mama. Neek should still be here and you are allowing her to treat me like I'm not shit. You enable her to disrespect me mama" I fussed.

"Wait a minute now. You are my child, change that tone. I will never allow her to disrespect you. Jade, you have shown her nothing but negativity. I told you she wasn't ready for this and you are trying to force it. Let me deal with Neek" she told me.

"Mama, she is my daughter. You should not have to deal with her. That's my job" I cried.

"In due time." She nodded her head before walking off into the kitchen.