Web of Lies

Chapter 4

He was Abby's best friend and a nice kid so I don't know why Christian would kill him. He was a sophomore like me and everyone loved him and apart from being Abby's best friend he was also her first crush so I know this must be really hard for her.

I don't realize I'm crying until I taste the salt of my tears in my mouth. He was really the only true friend I had outside my family and although his death hurt me terribly I know it's nothing compared to how Abby feels and all I can do is be there for her and hope she doesn't do anything stupid.

I remember two months ago when he came here and asked if it was okay for him to ask her to be his girlfriend. I was ecstatic because it meant he liked her as much as she liked him but I told him to wait because she wasn't emotionally ready for a relationship and he just nodded and smiled at me then went back to talk to Abby.

Even though I'm distraught about his death my guilt overweighs the pain. If I'd just allowed him to ask her out she could have spent the summer dating but now because of me she'll never know how it feels to be with him and she most likely lost her soul mate.

I was never the type to believe that there was someone out there who could love you with all their heart but with Abby and Harry it was different.

Even though they were never dating you could feel the love radiating from them whenever they were together. I know without a doubt that Harry would do anything for Abby just like I know she'd do anything for him.

I hear someone banging at the door and once I open it I see some of Abby's friends.
"Is Abby home?" A dark skinned girl with brown hair asks. I think her name is Rebecca.

"Yes she's inside." I say and let them all come in and they run to Abby.

I notice one of them holding buckets of ice-cream while another one hold bags of chicken nuggets. Abby's favorite foods.

Looking at them and how they treat Abby I feel a pang in my chest.

If I were hurt like Abby there would be nobody there for me.

When my alarm wakes me up, I don't even have the energy to stand up so I just lay in bed.

I sigh and try to prepare myself to get up but my thoughts are disrupted when I hear a knock on my door.

As the knocking continues I develop a headache and groan.

Whoever is there stops knocking and opens the door.

My mom comes in and sits beside me on my bed.

I've lived with her for 11 years so she understands my sudden moods.

"Is it Harry?" She asks and I shake my head.

"No, I'm just in a bad mood, that's all." I tell her looking at my fingers that I restlessly play with.

"Why?" She asks softly and I shrug.

I really don't know why I'm in such a mood and it's frustrating.

"If anything at all is wrong, you can always come and meet me or your dad, or even your siblings because we all love you and we'll always be here for you." My mom says and I nod.

I know they love me but I'm almost 100% sure that if they had to choose between me and Abby, Daniel or Kiara they'd choose them in a heartbeat.

"You and dad are hardly around, Abby actually has a life, Kiara is a baby and Daniel is in school." I say and she sighs.

"Even though we aren't always around, we'll still be there for you." She says but I don't reply.

"When you're feeling better come down." She says and kisses my forehead then she walks out of the room.

As soon as the door closed, I closed my eyes and cried.

My mind is a swirl of negative thoughts and emotions that I keep shut in a little box in my head but I guess you can only hide from the truth for so long.

"You're worthless!"

"You're disgusting!"

"You're pathetic!"

"You're stupid!"

"You're weak!"

"Your biological family didn't want you! Why do you think this one will be any different!"

"Nobody will ever love you!"

"You're just a sad freak who will always be alone! An outcast even in your family!"

"A waste of space and energy!"

I curl into a ball and use my hands to cover my ears but it doesn't make it any easier to hide from them because the voices are in my head and I start banging my head against the bed.

"You should just die, it's not like anyone would miss you!"

All my insecurities floating around in my head and I just want it to end.

"Stop it!" I sob and thrash around my bed pulling on my hair and any part of me that my hands landed on like it would get rid of them.

The voices.

I run into my bathroom and look at the mirror.

I look like a mad woman who just came out of a horror story.

My hair sticks up in all directions from tugging on it, my eyes are red and puffy from crying, I can clearly see the tear tracks trailing down my face, my clothes are torn and my skin is ashen.

I'm everything I heard in my head.

It would be much better if I died. Nobody would miss me.

My mom took everything in my room that I could use to harm myself but I hid a razor in the compartment that holds water in my toilet and I take it out.

"That's right, just a few little cuts and it will all be over." The voice says gently.

I continuously hear that as the blade lowers towards my wrists.

Everything will soon be over, I just have to do it right.

Thank you for the amazing covers ScarletMoon0143 and thank you to everyone reading this book.

Love you all!