Books & a Baller

Yes, Sir. - Day 26

Noah

Cara followed me upstairs to the roof terrace, and after she'd settled down into the corner of the bench seat I slid a pot plant over in front of the door. She eyed me suspiciously, but we needed privacy for this conversation. The two of us needed to sit here and talk through a lot, and I'd rather us be able to do that with no interruptions.

"What's with the pot plant?"

"I'd rather not be interrupted." I sat down at next to her, and rested a hand on her thigh.

"We can still technically be interrupted though."

"I know, but this way at least no-one cake come barging through the door."

"That's true." She seemed nervous. Which I could understand, and neither of us seemed sure on how to start the conversation.

We sat there in an awkward silence, a silence that was usually comfortable between us, before I bit the bullet and asked the question that had been burning a hole in my mind.

"So, Nathan? Is that over? There's not going to be any more of him whispering in your ear?"

"I want you, Noah. That's it, no one else."

"You've told me that before, many times, remember? But somehow you ended up in bed with him. So forgive me, Baller, if I'm not one hundred percent sure if I can believe you."

"I know, and I'm so sorry that it happened. It was a mistake, it never should've happened."

"No, it shouldn't have."

"I let him get in my head, I believed all the little things he said, and I got swept up in our past."

"And is the past staying where it belongs now? Because I really fucking love you, Cara. I've never felt this strongly towards someone before, and I can't put myself at the risk of getting hurt again."

Her eyes fell into her lap, and she sat there silently for a moment.

"Look at me." I brought my hand up from her leg, and place a finger under her chin, lifting her face up so I could look at her eye to eye. Her beautiful, dark eyes were brimming with tears.

"I can't bear the thought of losing you. I want you, Cara, I want this, I want us."

"I want this too. Noah, I want a life with you. Giving Nathan a second chance was the stupidest idea I've ever had." I could hear it in her voice that she was trying not to cry.

"A second chance? You told me you were doing it for closure, so you wouldn't spend your life thinking what if?" My hand left her face, and I sat back a little, creating some distance between us.

"It was for closure."

"Then why are you talking about second chances?"

"I had to see if there was any chance of a future with him. To see if he'd changed, if I could trust that he wouldn't hurt me again."

"That's not closure. That's giving him a second chance, Cara." I shook my head at her.

"It's not. I needed the time with him to figure out if I could give him a second chance."

"And what, if you could, you would've abandoned me like he did to you?"

"No, Noah. I wouldn't have. I would've sat down and talked to you about it, I would've been open and honest with you, like I told you I always would be. I wouldn't have abandoned you. I could never do that to you."

"But yesterday, you said to me you wouldn't have told me you slept with him?"

"I did say that."