once we met | derek morgan. ✓

21 : decisions.

j u l e s .
tw : near loss of a child.

Dr. Montgomery takes a seat beside my bedside, "You need to go under a major, hours long surgery and I don't know if the baby is ready for that kind of stress." She explains as Dr. Kepner places her hand on mine in comfort.

I shake my head, "I can't lose my baby." I state, tears rolling down my cheeks.

Dr. Montgomery nods, "Derek is coming. You guys can discuss it then." She states.

The door opens as my body trembles in pain.

"What's going on?" Derek asks, standing in the doorway, seeing my mascara-stained cheeks and red-rimmed eyes.

I open my mouth to talk as Dr. Montgomery interrupts me.

"Take a seat." She states, gesturing towards a chair beside the hospital bed.

I look at Derek longingly as he sits on the end of the hospital bed, taking my legs into his lap, massaging my ankles carefully.

"What's going on?" He mumbles to me as I shake my head in disbelief.

My body trembles, "Our baby..." I mutter, tears rolling down my cheeks some more.

"What happening with our baby?" He asks, looking to Dr. Montgomery.

Dr. Montgomery looks to me before looking at Derek, "Julianna needs to have a major, hours long surgery and we don't know if the baby can physically undergo that much stress." She states.

Derek glances to me, his eyes longing.

"Can you give us a minute?" He asks, looking to Dr. Montgomery and then Dr. Kepner.

Dr. Montgomery and Dr. Kepner give my hands one more, sympathetic squeeze before exiting the room.

"Baby..." Derek mutters, pulling me into a tight hug.

I let out a sob, "What happened to us? We went from being happy one second to now having to decide life and death of our unborn child." I state, curling up into a ball and turning away from Derek.

"We still are happy. We'll stay happy." Derek says reassuringly, laying beside me on the hospital bed, pulling me into a tight hug from behind.

He strokes my hair as I let out another heavy sob.

"I'm so scared Derek..." I mumble, the mascara filled tears stinging at my eyes.

"I know, baby. I know. I am too." He states, pulling me in tighter.

"What are we gonna do?" I ask, turning to face him.

His hands cup my cheeks, "You'll undergo the surgery because I cannot lose you. You hear me? I cannot lose you, no matter what. And our baby, hell, he/she has a strong mommy and daddy. Our baby will fight to stay alive -- and if we lose our baby, it'll be okay. We'll be okay." He reassures me, wiping the tears off my cheeks as he runs his thumbs up and down them sympathetically.

I nod in agreement, "I wanna find out the gender. I want to name the kid -- that way if we lose him/her, we can moarn and put a name on their small tombstone." I state, looking at Derek longingly.

He nods in agreement, tears rolling down his cheeks, "We can do that." He says in a low, shaky tone.

A knock comes from the Trauma Room door as Derek gets up, wiping underneath his eyes before opening it.

Dad.

"What's going on?" My dad asks, glancing between me and Derek.

"We might lose the baby..." I state in a shaky tone as my body trembles.

Hotch glances between me and Derek before pulling me into a tight hug.

"What are you gonna do?" Hotch asks.

I look at Hotch longingly, "I'm gonna fight like hell to survive this surgery...and so is this baby. We're gonna find out the gender, that way we can name him/her...just in case he/she passes, we can mourn their loss and put a name on their little tombstone." I explain as Hotch nods.

Hotch turns to Derek, "And you're okay with this?" He asks.

Derek nods, "I am praying they both make it out of that Operation Room alive, but we need a second option in case of baby doesn't. I'm not saying our baby's life doesn't matter, I'm just saying that I'm not risking losing Jules and raising that baby on my own. I do not want to love anyone else and I do not want that baby to have any other mother figure that isn't Jules. Jules is the love of my life and she will be an amazing mother. Trust us on this Hotch" He states as Hotch nods.

"I trust you guys know what's best." Hotch states, looking over to Jules and then to me.

Dr. Kepner and Dr. Montgomery come back into the room.

Dr. Kepner smiles softly, "We are going to transfer you to a room upstairs until your operation." She states.

Dr. Montgomery nods before turning to Derek and I, "Is there anything you guys need?" She asks in a sympathetic tone.

I nod slightly, "We want to find out our baby's gender, just in case." I inform them.

Dr. Montgomery nods, "We'll go take you up for testing right now." She states.

"Thank you." Derek states, shaking both of their hands before they wheel me out of the Trauma Room.

•••

I wake up to Derek's touch on my cheek, grumbling a little on the inside because he woke me up.

My eyes flutter open, turning directly towards him, "The doctors got the paternity test results." He states with a soft smile, running his thumb along my cheek.

I nod, turning to Dr. Montgomery.

Dr. Montgomery smiles slightly, "Hi Julianna. Congratulations. You're having a baby boy." She states.

I turn to Derek as he jumps up out of his seat in excitement.

He gives me a huge hug, "You here that?" He asks, "We're having a baby boy." He states, a huge smile on his face.

I pull him in tighter.

I hope we don't lose this baby. What if we lose him and our relationship doesn't last? What if this baby is the only thing holding this relationship together... Was Elle right? Was this all just some sick and twisted game?
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author's note:
hi loveys! i'm so sorry it took me a little longer to update -- i've been working my ass off with school and trying to manage writing as well! as you all have read, jules and derek are having a baby boy!!! please feel free to leave baby names in the comments! it seems as though jules and derek are hitting a rough end in their relationship...are they going to make it out of this together? let's find out! also, once we met has hit 1.14k reads! holy cow! i am so beyond thankful for all the love and support each of you have given me while writing this! i love you each and every single one of you with my whole heart! i hope you all enjoy this chapter! <3
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