~LOVE OR HATE~ {REGRET CHRONICLES} [BOOK 1]

~CHAPTER 2: HE BROKE ME ~

"Earth to Ayvia!" Ella said, snapping her fingers before my face. It took me a few seconds to remember where I was...

Breathe Ay. You are at lunch. You are with your girls. You are not there anymore. Never again.

Calming myself down, I looked up to see three pairs of eyes, looking at me with worry shining clear in them.

"You ok? You were really zoned out there," Stacy said.

" I'm fine! I was just thinking about the biology practical which Miss Waters said she will give today. We have to cut open a flower and study the parts and try to pollinate another flower! I have been waiting for this practical forever." I replied, nodding my head and giving them a smile, which I hoped they couldn't see through.

Liar.

A look passed through Anna's eyes but it was gone before I could read it. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Stace and Ella glance at each other for a split second but before any of them could question me further, the lunch bell rang signaling the end of lunch.

Get out. Get out. Get out.

It was a chant, stuck in my head. I needed to get out of here. I couldn't breathe.

"Oh! Look at that. Didn't even notice the time. Sorry guys, I have to go. Don't want to be late for that practical! I'll see you guys after school, ok?" I said, quickly gathering up my tray and my cup of melted ice cream, which I normally would have just drunk, and I started walking towards the trash can.

More lies.

I felt guilty about lying to my best friends. I didn't like it, not one bit. But I also didn't want to be a burden on them. They didn't need to have to worry about their cowardly and weak friend. A friend who couldn't tell them everything that had happened to her just because she couldn't bear to relive those memories. They deserved a better friend than me.

Dumping the waste in the trash can, I quickly walked out of the cafeteria. I couldn't look behind and face the hurt on their faces, so like the coward, I am... I ran. I ran until I was outside the girl's washroom.

Looking at my watch, I noted that I still had about an hour before the practicals started. What I had said about the practical was true but what I didn't say was that Miss Waters didn't like to keep practical right after lunch. That would be because of Larry, who had puked his lunch on her when we were dissecting frogs the other day. Now she would give us an hour of free time after lunch so that we could "digest" being in the lab.

I quickly set an alarm on my watch for five minutes before class started and barged into the washroom. There wasn't anyone there which was perfect. I walked up to the sink and splashed some water on my face. The cold water had always helped me to calm down but today, it was doing nothing to stop the memories from flooding into my brain.

Memories that I had locked up in my head a long time ago. Memories that I did not ever want to re-visit.

Coward. Weak. Couldn't protect her. Weak. Coward.