Sinking Boat 》 clifford *Book Two* DISCONTINUED

Neuf - all my fault

*trigger warning*

All my fault. it's all my fault. of course it is. but it's also Zac efron's fault too.

Great now it's my voice for blaming people on my mistakes.

I start sobbing as I hold the blade to my wrist. last night made me realise that everything was my fault. Mikey would be happy if I wasn't alive.

I grab the blade and drag it across my skin. blood quickly starts seeping through the newly fresh cut, my arm feels numb as I make several more cuts on my arm.

"Fuck up."

"Whore."

"Worthless."

"Freak."

"Fat."

"Ugly."

"Clown."

I drop the blade into the sick when someone starts banging on the door.

"Haley?!" Calum yells.

My shaky hands try hide the blade and I splash some water on my arm, wincing, and pull my sleeve back over my wrist.

"Haley?! open the fucking door!" Calum yells again and starts moving the handle trying to unlock it.

I rid my face of the smudged make up and force a smile as I open the door.

"Yes cal?" I laugh.

"Why did you take forever?" he asks suspiciously.

"I was taking off my make up." I shrug and walk past him.

I walk to the couch and turn on the TV.

"You were crying? really hard.."

"No I wasn't? it was probably the people next door."

"The boys are the 'people next door' Haley!" Calum rushed and bites his fingernails sitting next to me.

I think for a moment. "Mikey's one night stand?"

"Hal-"

I sigh. "drop it cal."

Calum nods and continues to chew his nails. "it wasn't because of what ash said... right Haley?"

I hesitate. "of course not."

"And you'd tell me if you were, you know, depressed?" Calum pushes.

I roll my eyes and laugh, "yes cal, I would tell you. if I would have told anyone first it would be you."

"Promise?" Calum holds out his pinky.

"Promise." I say and link my pinky with his.

//

Michael

Haley ...

She's so beautiful, and perfect, amazing, flawless but way to good for me.

I'm fat, and she's skinny, I'm ugly, she's gorgeous, the list goes on and on about how low I am and how perfect she is.

So here I sit, on the couch in the room next to Calum and my Haley.

I wouldn't be surprised if they were hooking up, I mean, Calum is skinny and works out, everyone's favorite in the band, then there's me. the fucking potato.

I try not to cry as I sit with Niall, Louis, Luke and ash.

"Hey, Mike, another beer?" Louis offers and holds the glass bottle out.

"Yeah." I breath and take it, it's already popped open so I gulp take sips from it.

Calum and Haley walk into the room, Calum walks over and sits by Luke. Haley smiles at me and comes over to sit next to me.

She's wearing a long sweater, I look her over, I don't know how perfect she could look in sweats and sweatshirt with messy hair.

I look at her hands but stop when I see the red seeping through her sweatshirt sleeves by her wrist.

"W-What?" I stutter and my shaky hands place the bottle on the coffee table in front of me. I shift my body so i'm facing Haley and I lift her sweatshirt over her wrist.

She pulls back, "It's nothing Mikey." Haley whispers, avoiding eye contact.

"But it is Haley!" I say frustrated and stand up pulling haley with me and we leave the room to go across the hall to ours.

As I shut the door I wrap my arms around her pulling her into me. "Please tell  me that is not what I think it is, and it's just pizza sauce." I sigh and run my fingers through haleys brown hair.

Haley starts sobbing. "I'm sorry." She mumbles. "I'm weak."

"No baby." I sigh and kiss the top of her head. "You're incredibly strong."

an:

my happy little pill..

that's a good fucking song. 

okay so i lost intrest in this book lol

HARRY STYLES BIRTHDAY YAYYYYYYYYAYSYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYY 21

oh and i have 12 boyfriends now lol 

harry louis liam niall zayn luke michael ashton calum zac efron dave franco and EVAN PETERS 

im tired. 

NEW COVER DO YOU LIKE IT?! :) <3 i do