Field Investigations

Chapter 19: To Leave

"Finally," I thought to myself as my feet thumped down against the floor. "Maybe I'll be able to find something out now. I won't be treated like a low-level new recruit anymore."

Of course, this opportunity wasn't without its risks. If I was caught... I shook my head. I wouldn't let myself get caught, so there was no point worrying about what-ifs. And although I'd thought it was a bad idea earlier, pretending to be the ambassador had gotten me into a pretty good place so far. I just hoped that I wouldn't run into the actual Brazilian ambassador.

Wait - what if I did encounter the ambassador? Oh, I hadn't even considered that possibility earlier. The woman didn't randomly come up with the idea that I was the ambassador. She must've been expecting there to be an ambassador coming from Brazil. And that meant there was a real ambassador in this building. What would I do if we ran into each other? They'd know that I was a fake. Unless... could I pretend that I actually was from the Brazil headquarters and just hadn't met the other ambassador before? I doubted they would buy that. I curled a strand of hair around my fingers, tapping my feet as I walked. How did I even get on this train of thought in the first place? I was just trying to tell myself not to get too worried about what-ifs, yet somehow just thinking that sent me into a panic of thoughts.

"So... your English is really good," Jack mumbled, still looking at the floor.

"Uh..." I was confused for a second. Then, though, I remembered that he thought I was from Brazil. Supposedly, English wasn't my first language. "Oh, yeah. We do... classes. At the headquarters. In language. So, thanks." I hoped I didn't sound too awkward. 

"You're welcome. You... you're pretty young to be an ambassador, right?" he observed, looking up at me for a second. 

How was I supposed to answer that? "Um, well, I mean..." I tried to remember what he'd said earlier about his friend. "You know how you were talking about your friend earlier? The one who finished at the academy quickly and then went to China? It's the same kind of thing for me."

He laughed, looking down at the floor. "Yeah, I'm not really like that. I'm seventeen already. I've been here two years and I'm not even close to finishing. Once I'm done, I think I'll try and travel to one of the other headquarters. I haven't left this building in two years, so I could use a change of scene."

I smiled. I felt like Jack and I would get along well if only he knew that I was really just a newly-kidnapped member of the AFS and not an expert from Brazil. "You'll get to leave soon," I told him. And it was true. I would get everyone out of here as soon as I could figure out a plan. I had to.

"I hope so," he said. "I mean, I like it here. I really do. But I wish I didn't have to be here all the time. Not that I want to be somewhere else, just..."

"I get it. I - I felt the same way when I first got to headquarters." I felt that same way now, but I couldn't tell him that. "I remember I was frustrated, because nobody would answer any of my questions, and I missed home, and no one would tell me if I would ever be able to go back." It felt good to tell somebody how I felt about things then, even if I had to do it indirectly. "And I should say that things got better, and maybe they did, but never completely. Never back to the way things were before." That was my pessimism showing through. I probably wouldn't manage to escape, and if I didn't, then in a few years that would probably be exactly how I would feel. I sighed.

Jack looked up at me again. "But you get to travel now. Doesn't that... I mean, can't you go home if you want to?"

I didn't understand, but I couldn't ask him what he meant. I needed to seem like I really had been at the AFS for years, so I couldn't risk asking a question I should already know the answer to. "I... well, I don't really know," I told him. "I mean, I can't now. Not really. I've..." I needed to come up with a reason, and fast. "I've been here too long to leave," I said. I figured that was a good answer: vague enough that he couldn't object to it but clear enough that he could interpret it for himself. 

"Oh," he said, his expression becoming more serious. "Do you think... I've been here too long to leave?" He put up his hands. "Not - not like I want to leave. It's just that..." his voice trailed off.

"I think... I think that's up for you to decide," I told him. I couldn't do much right then to help him, but maybe I could convince him that he could leave if he wanted to. The only problem was that I couldn't act too enthusiastic. If I seemed to gung-ho about the idea of leaving the AFS, he might get suspicious.

He nodded, a smile spreading back across his face. "Hey, we're almost to the elevators," he said. I had almost forgotten that we were even walking. Looking ahead, though, I saw that he was right. The silver elevator doors stood a few feet ahead. Turning back, I saw the woman out of the corner of my eye. She hadn't talked at all the last few minutes, but she seemed alert, like she was paying attention to our every word. More alert than I would've thought, really. I mentally went over the things I'd said, hoping that nothing sounded suspicious. What if she'd caught on somehow to the fact that I was a fake?

No. I had to remind myself not to worry about those what-ifs that kept on popping into my mind. There was no use getting myself nervous over nothing, and I was already anxious enough as it was. I pushed the thought out of my mind, pressing my finger down on the metal elevator button mounted on the wall ahead. This had been a long day, that was for sure. And it wasn't nearly over.