My Medicine

7

TW's:
-Self harm wounds and mentions

It was a few weeks later. I hung out very much with George and my seizures went back to 2 a day instead of 5. It was a real miracle. Today was the first day of our holiday and George made a whole plan. I had been with George almost every single day and I liked his parents very much. They wanted to help me as much as possible and his mum approved of me spending a week or longer there to see if I would get less stress and triggers. Today was the day I was going to George. We walked to his place together.

'Are you excited?'

I nodded. 'I just hope it works.'

It was a pretty hot day today and George made me feel so comfortable that I wasn't wearing a hoodie, but just a shirt. I had cut myself often still, but not everyday anymore. I hadn't cut in a week now.

'George?'

'Yes?'

'Your family? How do they think about my arms?'

'Oh, they would probably startle a little, but you don't have to wear a hoodie.'

'Sure?'

'If you feel more comfortable yourself, you can.'

I nodded and grabbed my hoodie. 'I only trust you with that.'

'I understand. It's fine.'

We entered his house a few minutes later and I greeted Georges mum.

'Hey, Clay. How are you?'

'I'm okay, George helps me a lot.'

'I really hope this will work for you, Clay. You deserve it.'

'Thanks, ma'am.'

She smiled and kissed her sons cheek. 'Nice day in school, guys?'

We both nodded. 'It was alright.'

George grabbed my hand. 'Come upstairs and I show you were you can stay this week or maybe two weeks.'

I nodded and we walked upstairs. George showed me my room and we sat down on his bed. I removed my hoodie again and laid down.

'Are you okay?' George asked.

I nodded. 'George, are you actually fine with me showing my arms?'

He smiled. I fell completely in love with him. His brown eyes, his cute smile. Everything was perfect. I firstly only liked him, but I just fell so hard. I could hear George talking, but I didn't hear words, I just couldn't stop staring at him again. I saw his hand waving in front of my face, but I still kept staring. How can someone be this perfect?

'CLAY?'

I startled and looked at him.

'Are you getting a seizure?'

I shook my head. 'I just zone out easily. What did you say?'

'I said I don't mind seeing it, but it's sometimes difficult when you cut again. I really hate seeing you in pain.'

'I'm clean for a week.'

'I know and that's why I bought you something.'

'Have you?'

'I have. Hello, one week is a big deal if you have cut yourself everyday for over years.'

'Aww, I thought you would be disappointed because it was only one week.'

'Only? That's so impressive and I'm so proud.'

'You're the reason for me not cutting though.'

He smiled extremely cute and I saw a slight pink blush appear on his cheeks. 'I'm glad. What I bought isn't too amazing, but here.'

He showed me a little package. I opened it and looked at the box with little bonbons in it.

'It's just a simple, I guess yellow, box with some bonbons, but I needed to give you something. My mum helped me buy it.'

'Thank you so much.' I couldn't resist myself from hugging him.

He accepted the hug and I felt his hands go down to my arms. He stroke over my scars and still a few healing wounds. He suddenly broke the hug and looked down. He grabbed my arm and kissed it. My cheeks heated up more than ever. I became red like a tomato and I felt my stomach fill with butterflies. He just kissed me, he kissed my arm. He kissed me. I got extremely hot and I felt I was sweating a little. He kissed me, he really did.

'Are you okay? You're so red.'

'I uh- yeah uh- it's nothing.'

'Are you sure? You're really red.'

'I'm just very hot.'

'I can see that. Yeah, putting your shirt off might be a little too much.'

'Can I maybe shower? I'm really hot.'

'Yeah, sure.'

I ran away to the bathroom. I pulled my shirt off, but didn't go in the showers. He kissed me, I was completely panicking. I sat down on the ground. I was so happy but at the same time so confused. Why did he kiss my arm? He knew I was gay, why didn't he feel awkward?

'Clay? Are you okay?'

'Yes, yes. Sure. I'm going to shower. Don't worry.'

791 words

Thats on gay panic