My Medicine

5

TW's:
-Mentions self harm

I went to school next day, acting like I didn't have a mental breakdown the day before. I kept cutting myself until I passed out and had a seizure. This morning I cried about the drawing I draw of George. The drawing was nice, but I torn it apart. Why did I like George? I felt so weird. I didn't want to be gay and I wasn't gay. I didn't like George as more than friends. I was excited to see him again, but I was mad at myself for being happy to see him.

I walked into the school and directly to my classroom. I startled when I saw George already sitting there. He smiled at me and I blushed. He was so hot today-

'Hey, Clay. Want to sit here?'

I nodded and sat down next to him. I rested my head on the table and secretly looked at him. He was so perfect. His pale, but beautiful and clear skin, his chocolate brown eyes, his dark and fluffy hair, combed exactly in the right way. Then his figure, skinny but perfect. Not too fat, not too skinny. Perfect and hot. The soft smile always resting on his lips always comforted me. His hand stroke through his hair just so perfectly. It made my stomach flip.

'Clay?'

I heard his words, his soft and sweet voice. The beautiful British accent coming out so smoothly. I heard him talk, but I was too much in a trance. Would his lips be as soft as they look? Would his belly be as hot as he was like this? Would his hand perfectly entangle with mine? His hands were small, it was incredibly cute. He was cute in general, he was small. He came to my shoulders. He would be perfect to hug. He would fit so perfectly in my arms.

'Clay?'

The way his mouth moved, the way he-. Wait, he was talking to me.

'What?'

'Oh, thank goodness. Is this the start of a seizure?'

I shook my head. 'No uh- I was zoned out.'

'I noticed.'

'Sorry.'

'Where for?'

'Staring.'

'Oh, it's fine.'

I decided to rest my head on my hands and closed my eyes. I started falling asleep. I shook myself awake and looked up. 'Hi.'

'Hey?' George asked. He laughed softly. 'You almost fell asleep.'

'Sorry, I'm very tired.'

'I noticed that.'

'I want to sleep.'

'Clay!' someone screamed.

I startled and looked up. My teacher screamed at me. 'Can you pay attention?'

'Sorry, I'm-.'

'Stop, don't argue. You're in my class and I make the rules here.'

I nodded. 'I'm sorry.'

I felt my arm softly tingling and I looked at George. He seemed to understand. 'Seizure?'

I nodded. He stood up and helped me stand up too.

'Where are you going?'

'He is getting a seizure,' George said.

'No, sit down.'

'Why?'

'Because I said so.'

'Well, no. He is getting a seizure and staying in class will distract everyone. He is coming with me. He has epilepsy and he needs help.'

The tingling got worse and we stood up. We quickly walked away and George closed the door. He laid his coat on the ground and I laid on the ground. The seizure soon started and I started shaking like crazy. My face kept tensing up and whole body got sore. I felt George holding my hand and it calmed me down. I calmed down after just four minutes and looked around me confused. George smiled and stroke my hand. His hand went up a little higher to my wrist and I saw him looking. He didn't say anything, but his eyes got bigger. I was too confused and tired to pull my arm away and I felt him softly touching one of my wounds. I sat up after ten minutes and sat down on a bench.

'Are you okay?'

I nodded. 'Thanks.'

'For what?'

'Help.'

'Of course, Clay. Clay, are you still a little confused?'

I nodded. 'Less.'

'Can I ask you something? Can you roll your sleeves up?'

I wasn't really thinking about what he said and I rolled my sleeves up. His eyes got extremely big. 'Clay?' His voice got an octave higher. 'Dude, what's this?'

I looked down and saw all cuts. I pulled my sleeves down quickly. 'Why did you do that?'

'What? What did I do?'

'Ask me this when I am like this?'

'I saw your cuts.'

'Sorry.'

'It's okay, can you do this a little less for me?'

'I will try.'

'Why do you cut yourself?'

'Because I'm ugly.'

'No you're definitely not ugly.'

'I am and because I'm fat.'

'You're not fat, dude?'

'I don't know. I don't have muscles either. And because I'm annoying.'

'You are also not annoying.'

'And because I'm gay.'

801 words