Chemistry ; draco malfoy

t w e n t y

the new years party comes faster than expected, i find myself pacing my room as my thoughts race.

he said to wear something nice— did he mean it? was he joking? i roll my eyes at my own thoughts; how do i manage to overthink the smallest of things. i take a deep breath in as i close my eyes. as i exhale i feel calmer, more subdued. it will be fine.

on my bed lays a black dress. it's skin tight with long sleeves. i pick it up, the material is soft in my hands. i've already done my makeup so i'm careful putting the dress on, not wanting to smudge any of it. i decide on keeping my hair down, i know that whatever i do to it won't look good. i've never been the greatest at doing my own hair, that's why i let it flow naturally most of the time.

when i leave my room blaise is already waiting for me. he's dressed in a black suit with a black tie. i smile up at him and he starts walking toward the study.

"everything's packed?" he asks me, looking at me from over his shoulder. i nod at him, flashing him a brief smile. ive decided to cut my visit home short to head back to hogwarts. the thought of cedric being there, all alone during the holidays puts a pit deep in my stomach.

as soon as we enter the study we see the floo, it's beside the desk to our right. blaise motions for me to go first, smiling gently as he does so. i scoop up a handful of floo powder and inhale sharply.

"malfoy manor!" i shout as i drop the powder to the ground. green flames engulf my vision. i stumble slightly as i arrive at the manner, it's already bustling with people. great.

i take a step forward as i wait for blaise, he looks calm and collected as he arrives. i roll my eyes at him, of course he doesn't stumble. to my left i see a head of blonde hair poking out from over the crowd.

"i'm gonna find draco," i tell blaise, my cheeks heating up as i do so. i need to calm down, it's only been two weeks since i've seen him last. merlin, i am such a hufflepuff. i laugh slightly to myself, knowing that draco would be calling me a hufflepuff too if he heard me.

as i get closer i can tell that somethings off. he's swaying on the spot and using his hand to help support his weight.

"draco?" i ask, furrowing my brows as we come face to face. he quirks the corners of his mouth up into a smile, and i know immediately that he's drunk. he's beyond drunk at this point, he can barely stand. "are you alright?" i ask him, not wanting to reach out and touch him in fear of his father seeing.

"oh i am just brilliant," he whisper-shouts. upon closer inspection i realize that he looks sickly. his eyes have slightly dark bags bags beneath them, not noticeable enough to see unless you were staring. his cheekbones jut out more than usual, making his face sharp.

"i think you should drink some water," i keep my voice down, not wanting him to be embarrassed. he nods his head jerkily while taking his lip between his teeth.

"i've got water in my room," he slurs out before decidedly turning on his heel to stumble up to his room. i hastily follow him, not wanting him to fall down the stairs in a tragic accident. he holds the railing in a death grip as he ascends the stairs. we reach his room which had been charmed shut, presumably by him. he mutters out an 'alohomora' but it doesn't work, his speech is badly slurring together.

i brush my hand against his as i lean forward to whisper out,"alohomora." the door unlocks with a 'click' and draco pushes his way in. he shuts the door behind me before lazily trailing his eyes around the room. to my left i see the water bottle, i pick it up and raise it to my lips to take a sip. the second it hits my tongue i know that it's not water. this is pure vodka. i sputter slightly before tearing it away. i look at draco, my eyes brows drawn together.

"draco," i start,"how long have you been drinking?" i ask him as gently as i can. he shrugs his shoulders heavily before grabbing the bottle from me to drink more. my eyes widen and i reach forward to take it back. in a huff i head toward the en-suite, dumping out the vodka in the sink and replacing it with water. dracos sat on the bed when i return, struggling with removing his shoes. i hand him the water bottle as i kneel down to help him with his shoes.

"i like this view," he mumbles as i roll my eyes at him.

"please," i huff," please, tell me what's wrong." my eyes bore into his as i pry. blue meets dull, empty silver. i frown ever so slightly, hoping that draco can't see my sadness. i don't want him to have to worry about me. he reaches out to run his thumb across my lips. something in his demeanour changes.

"get out."

i flinch at his words. there's no bite behind them, there's nothing behind them. he's almost emotionless.

"what?" i utter. dracos hands reach up into his hair and he tugs, clenching his eyes shut as he does so.

"you need to fucking leave!" he raises his voice, i slowly rise from my spot on the ground, careful as not to startle him.

"lay down draco," i tell him, gently nudging his shoulder down to the mattress. he doesn't fight me. i gather the blankets that are at the foot of the bed and bring them up to his chin. i take a seat beside him, reaching my fingers up into his platinum hair.

"i need for you to tell me what's bothering you." i try to keep my voice as gentle as possible. downstairs i can hear the muffled voices counting down. it's almost midnight. i card my fingers through his hair and realize that it's different, more brittle than usual. it doesn't feel right, everything feels wrong.

"3..2..1" they erupt into cheers and draco cringes before surging up to slot his mouth against mine. there's something else behind it, some type of aggression.

"you're bothering me," he mumbles against my lips before laying back down. he closes his eyes and turns to face away from me. "go home, zabini."