Ginger Tea and Trickery - Hogan's Heroes Fanfiction

Chapter 6

"Barnes and Garlotti," Hogan said, popping up in Barracks 2, "You two are bringing Herr Hiedler to London."

Barnes' jaw dropped. "Us two?" He asked weakly.

"We two, Barnes, grammar," Hogan admonished, "But yep. You two."

Davis stepped forward, "Umm - sir - are you feeling alright?"

"Just fine, Sergeant." Hogan pulled himself the rest of the way up into his cell.

Davis went to the door, "Hey, Garlotti, Joseph! The Colonel's here," He hissed.

Immediately the two pressed themselves against the barred door to their cell, "Hello, sir!" The two grinned half-heartedly.

"What'd you come for, Colonel?" Garlotti asked, "Mass escape?"

Colonel Hogan chuckled, "Not quite. You and Barnes are going to be Herr Hiedler's escorts to London."

"What!?" Joseph's voice cracked.

Garlotti jabbed a thumb into his chest.

"Yes, you, Garlotti. I'll explain," Hogan propped himself up against the door, and Barnes and Davis leaned on the wall opposite him.

"So, Major Hochstetter never bothers to check the cooler. You've got one Luftwaffe guard down here," Hogan said, "And he comes by every hour, on the hour, doesn't he?"

"Religiously," Davis nodded his confirmation.

"Exactly. And the guards aren't the sharpest, and they don't care to see much either. Which means that if Barnes and Garlotti disappear and are replaced by two other random guys, or even dummies, then nobody's the wiser."

"And why us two?" Garlotti asked, "Er - we two, I suppose."

"Barnes, of course, speaks fluent German," Hogan said, "And you're Italian. Which, no offense, means you can pretend to be on their side." He paused, "You speak Italian, right? What's your accent like?"

"My Italian's perfect," Garlotti said, apparently taken aback that anybody should consider it otherwise.

"Better than Davis', that's for sure," Joseph snarked.

Garlotti rolled his eyes, "It's not hard to do that."

Davis huffed.

"They've been trying to teach him while we're in here," Barnes explained to Colonel Hogan, "It's goin' pretty awful."

Hogan smirked, "Well. But anyways. Garlotti will be an Italian officer, Barnes will be a Gestapo officer. The two of you are escorting an American airman to Italy for interrogation."

"And we take a detour along the English channel," Barnes filled in.

Hogan smiled, "You guys catch on so quickly."

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They got a few guys from Hut 12 - which was in the back of the camp, which meant Major Hochstetter, for the most part, left them alone - to take the places of Barnes and Garlotti.

Over the course of the next few days, they were outfitted with uniforms, IDs, orders, passes, and all that such. And Hogan went over the plan.

"Okay. Your first stop is here, in this little town." He pointed at a point on the map, "The waitress at the hotel bar is in the underground, she'll be wearing a blue scarf and you should have the blue handkerchief in your pocket. She'll take you to the room. As for Hiedler, cuff him to the bed, keep a gun to his head, I don't care if you sit on him. He can not escape," At this he fixed both of them with a firm gaze, "I'm sure you've already gathered how serious this is?"

"Yes sir," They both nodded.

"Alright. From there, you should be able to make it to the coast if you drive for a solid twelve hours. But if it gets too late - you guys need to be alert - there's a little farming community right here outside of Rotterdam. They're friendly to the cause and they'll let you hide out in their barn. The sub leaves at 6 AM whether Hiedler's on it or not, so it's an early morning for you two."

Garlotti huffed, "Peachy."

"If Hiedler does get away from us, do we just shoot 'im?" Barnes asked.

"If you can't possibly catch him again," Hogan didn't want to be on the receiving end of the earful London was going to have if that happened. They'd probably speed up the invasion just to strip him of his rank, "When you guys come back, don't use the hotel again, it's too risky. You'll have to figure sleeping accommodations out for yourselves that night, we haven't got anybody there besides the waitress."

"Waitresses and farmers," Garlotti smirked, "I think we should recruit a field marshall or two."

"Maybe, Garlotti, but the field marshalls aren't nearly as good looking."

XXXXX

The next day they moved out.

Hogan found himself in the radio room with Barnes as the man made sure he had everything. Newkirk had dragged Garlotti into his sewing room to make a few last minute fixes.

"Y'know, Barnes, if Garlotti's Italian identity doesn't hold up to some die-hard Nazi, you'll need to step in," Hogan said offhandedly.

"Uh-huh. We got it figured out," Barnes kept his eyes on the papers strewn on the table before him, tucking them into his coat pockets.

Hogan raised an eyebrow, "Something bugging you?"

Barnes' gaze flickered up at him for a second and then trained back on his work, "I'm just... kinda surprised you trust me, sir," He shrugged into his coat.

Hogan nodded, "You've more than proven yourself, Sergeant."

"Thank you, sir," He smiled a little, and patted down his pockets, "ID, gun, cash, orders and authorization.

"Map?"

"Yup."

"Flashlight?"

"Garlotti's got it."

"Staff car's waiting in the usual spot. Make sure you get gas."

"Got it, sir."

Garlotti entered the room, Newkirk just behind him, proudly surveying his handiwork.

"You guys look like a dashing pair of traitors," He grinned.

Barnes smiled sweetly, "Gosh, thanks, Newkirk."

"Anytime, mate," Newkirk clapped a hand on Barnes' shoulder.

Hogan shook his head at the teasing, "Alright, you guys ready to move out?"

Garlotti and Barnes looked at each other, and Hogan saw a flicker of a conversation between them, and then they nodded, "Yes sir."

"Okay," Hogan said, "Let's get 'Sergeant Smith', then. I'll go with you guys as far as the staff car."

"Be careful," Newkirk warned as they exited the room.

Barnes snorted, "Yeah, like we weren't planning on that already."

They shared a half-hearted chuckle, but Hogan caught the anxious tension beneath the banter. He's right, boys. Be careful.