After All This Time?

Without Closure ~Rin

My day to day life was starting to become mundane. I feed and care for the horses at the stable, study medicinal scrolls, and practice the fighting techniques that I have learned over the years. After that, I have a lot of free time.

I roam around the village to play with the children, find some berries and herbs in the forest to harvest, and I take horseback rides along the trails around the village. Everything in this life has become so redundant.

Kohaku has been training me to fight, per my request, so I wouldn't be completely helpless if a threat ever did come to the village if somehow Inuyasha or Kagome weren't around. Kohaku doesn't come to the village as often as he used to, for Kohaku trains new taijiyas at his home village, but I still manage to make time to practice by myself every day that I can. He was here to spar with me today.

We were in the middle of training, throwing punches and kicks tactically at each other. I've become pretty agile with training, but today I was not concentrating when Kohaku grazed me on the cheek with his fist when I should have been able to block or miss it. I lose my balance and I fall backward, landing on my rear.

Kohaku sighs in disappointment.

"Rin, you're not paying attention today." He noticed, "you can't lose focus or you'll get yourself killed in an instant."

I stood up to my feet, rubbing my cheek, embarrassed and disappointed in myself.

"I'm sorry. I just have something on my mind."

"Oh? What's on your mind?" he asks curiously.

I didn't want to tell him the truth, he told me that I shouldn't let my emotions get in the way of training if I were to get any better.

"It's not that important." I lied, "I think I'm just tired."

He crosses his arms with an arched brow.

"Well, let's rest for a bit and go at it again later, okay?"

He could probably see right through me and will be harsh on me once he got the truth out of me, but I know he's also caring and understanding.

""

I went out to an open field near the river and sat there among the flowers for a while as they dance in the wind. What I had on my mind I let affect my training, causing it to be half-assed. I've held this in for so long and something about today was trying to dig it out. The catalyst was probably the dream I had the night before. The dream about him.

Did he forget about me?

I shook my head at the thought.

No, there's no way he would ever do that. He promised me.

I lay on my back, looking up at the clear, bright sky with a blank stare. I was trying to clear my mind. To think of nothingness. Expelling the sadness that was eating a hole in my chest. I inhale and exhale deeply.

Once the feeling subsided briefly, I let out a deep sigh and closed my eyes, feeling the warmth of the sun against my face and the cool breeze against my skin.

As I lay there, there was finally some peace over me. Though it only lasted for a short time. I sensed that the sun had gotten dim, even with my eyes closed. Something was blocking it from me. I opened my eyes and saw a pair of big green eyes and copper hair pulled back in a ponytail by a teal ribbon.

"Hiya, Rin!" they spoke with a big grin on their face.

I giggled when I recognized the familiar, much older version of the once little kitsune.

"Oh Shippo, what are you up to?"

"Well I saw you laying here looking kind of sad," he replied, "I thought I should check up on you."

"Oh, I'm fine."

I still wasn't honest. I felt better, but not completely.

Shippo seemed suspicious of me.

"So, whatcha doing way out here anyway?" He asks, changing the subject quickly.

"I come out here to get some fresh air every once in a while," I assure him, giving him a soft smile.

"Well," he began, "you know if something is bothering you, you can tell me, right?"

"Of course, Shippo."

He smiles and waves goodbye to me as he wanders off into the forest.

Over the years, Shippo and I have grown close. He has grown into an incredibly strong kitsune, much more than he was before. He doesn't come to the village much anymore either cause he's always off training to become the best fox yokai around. I'm proud of him for that though.

""

I sensed something approaching me. With sharped eyes, I push myself off the ground, turned around quickly, and went into my battle stance. A long narrow object swings towards my head. I duck down and used my forearm to push the object up. I realized it was a wooden sword used for training. Before I could see it's wielder, a foot swings under me and hits me on the side of my leg, knocking me down to the ground. I growl and shout at the wielder until I realized who it was.

It was Kohaku.

"I knew something was up," Kohaku spoke.

I pout.

"I don't know what you're talking abou---"

"Stop lying to me, Rin!" He snapped at me.

It took me by surprise. I haven't seen him like that in a while, caused my knees to buckle, "I'm sorry for startling you. But Rin, you have to trust me and let me know when something is wrong, cause I can tell something is bothering you. It was simply too obvious in training."

I looked away. I didn't want him to be able to read my face of how embarrassed I was.

He sighs, and spoke calmly, "You miss him don't you?"

Was it that obvious?

Of course.

Kohaku knew me so well at this point. I sometimes forget that he once traveled with Sesshomaru briefly before I was left here in this village so long ago.

I couldn't take it anymore.

My hands curl up into fists and I kept clinching them tighter and tighter as my frustration was building up, until finally, I let it explode out of me in a scream, tears following after. I shift onto my knees, covering my face with my hands.

Kohaku knelt beside me, trying to comfort me. I reach up and grab onto Kohaku's arm and held onto it with a tight grip.

"Has he truly forgotten about me, Kohaku?" I whispered with tears streaming down my face.

Poor Kohaku.

I wasn't sure if he was embarrassed for me or himself. Was he going to feel guilty for pushing me to this point? He shouldn't. I had this bottled up inside for far too long and it needed to be released. I finally composed myself and my face turned red, "I'm so sorry, Kohaku."

He looked at me puzzled.

"Why are you apologizing?"

"For being all emotional in front of you like this, showing weakness," I explained not able to look at him in the eyes until I heard him chuckle. I turn to him in shock and was getting a little offended.

Was he laughing at me?

"Oh no no! It's not that!" He assures me waving his hands, "I only chuckled because you didn't have to apologize to me." He places his hand on my shoulder, staring into the depths of my soul, "Rin, you are such a strong, brave, and kind woman. You're a fighter, and you have a big heart. You should never apologize or assume that's a weakness."

His smiling face brought out my smile when he said those words to me as I wiped my tears away.

"Thank you so much, Kohaku."