Yūgen An awareness of the universe that triggers an emotional response to deep words.
Morning
The first thing I notice when I wake up is the silence. The kind of quiet that feels heavy, like it's waiting for something. Or maybe it's just me, trying to find peace in a house that's never quite still.
I glance at the tennis racquet by the door. It's been a while since I last picked it up, a long time since I allowed myself to dream about a future where tennis was still a part of my life. My leg still aches sometimes, a reminder of when everything crashed down—the pressure, the stress of my family's expectations, and the way I broke. I don't want to think about it, but it's impossible to ignore.
Lately, though, something's been calling me back to the court. Maybe it's Chris.
Chris... The one person who's always seen me for me, not as the "forgotten" Baker sibling, not as the one lost in the shadows of Olivia and Jordan. He's the reason I even started thinking about tennis again. Chris isn't like the others. He doesn't expect anything from me. He's not looking to see me live up to some image or perfect family legacy. He's just... Chris.
I grab my phone and see a message from him: "You good to hit today?"
I hesitate for a second before replying: "Yeah, I'll meet you in 30."
Chris doesn't know the full weight of everything I've been through, but he knows some of it. I told him about my injury a couple of chapters ago—the surgery, the rehab, how it all changed everything for me. He knows that, but he doesn't know how much the pressure from my family and everything else added to the burden. Maybe he doesn't need to know.
Afternoon
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I sneak out quietly, not wanting anyone to ask where I'm going. Spencer's usually the one to notice when I leave the house, and I don't feel like dealing with his "big brother" instincts today. But of course, as I step out into the yard, I hear his voice behind me.
"Where are you going?" Spencer calls, stepping out of the door with a raised eyebrow.
I freeze, then turn to face him, trying to act casual. "Out. Just... hanging out for a bit."
"Not telling me where, huh?" Spencer crosses his arms, eyeing me suspiciously. "Well, you know you can't lie to me. I'll figure it out."
I shrug, offering him a tight-lipped smile. "I'll be back later, don't worry. It's nothing big."
Spencer narrows his eyes but doesn't press the issue. "Alright. Just be careful. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."
I bite back a laugh, knowing that's a line he always uses when he's not sure what's really going on. "I'll be fine, Spence. Promise."
