Nalobuteoui Jayu: 나로부터의 자유

Destination All in Your Head

I was once sad and lonely,

So I wore a mask that always smiled,

To hide my feelings behind a lie.

But deep inside I still felt empty,

Like I was missing a part of me.

Nobody could hear my cries at night,

I designed my mask to hide the lies.

Nobody could see the pain I was feeling,

Behind all the smiles were the tears,

And behind all the comfort were the fears.

Everything you think you see,

Wasn't everything there was to me.

Day by day,

I was slowly dying.

I couldn't go on,

You pass me on the street and our eyes briefly meet.

You hold the door open for me as I enter behind you.

I say thanks, but you have no idea that my mind is blank.

You have no idea that my brain and I are arguing to if I should cross the line.

Once you lose your soul there is no turning back.

When you wake up from a night's sleep you wonder to yourself,

if today the little things in life that made you who you are will have you once again.

You're tired of running and losing your breath.

You wake up hearing yelling, yelling in your room,

You wonder who it is then you realize it is you,

You thought you were dreaming and you woke up feeling scared,

But the feelings were real and you realized he was in your bed,

You wonder if anyone heard, heard you scream and shout,

But you realize you're alone and no one will help you out,

You're helpless and afraid just a lonely little girl "boy",

You want to be saved but, shhh we're not supposed to tell.

I keep looking for comfort from you,

You see me crying,

Inside you have to know I'm dying.

Don't you see the hurt from so many years,

Memories embedded in my mind, completely set?

I can't explain how I feel inside,

Feelings of abandonment rush in like the tide.

I wish you could understand,

But for me, darkness is all I see.

No happiness for this little boy,

Taking on sorrow and strife.

All I feel is punishment,

Along with those never-ending feelings of abandonment.

'Welcome to Hell," the sign should've read,

Reaching your destination-all in your head!

"Last call for the train heading to Nowhere Fast,"

Lil' boy, don't be afraid,

Too far gone... it's us 'til the end.

When you forget your morals, I'm at your side.

Daddy hits Mommy and the children cry.

Your heart turns cold as you play the game.

I told you boy the destination is in your head!

"Welcome To Hell!" Next stop... Well, he's dead.

I told you that I'd stick it out 'til the end,

Well, it's nice to finally meet you.

I've noticed you've been crying,

Whatever has been hurting you,

I can make it disappear.

Nothing to live for, nothing to fear.

My naive child, there's no use trying to hide.

I should probably introduce myself.

I am your very own addiction.

I am you own self-conviction.

I'm a master at manipulation.

You'll never escape my trap.

How does it feel to dance with the Devil?

For he and I are one in the same.

Go ahead and make an attempt.

Besides, I'm in the mood for a good show.

I'm still around every corner,

In the back of your mind.

I'm your greatest fear.

I won't disappear over time.

Twenty years from now you may falter,

And, I'll be the first thing that comes to mind.

The silent killer of America's youth.

It's genius when you think of it.

You made me feel like I was flying,

the first to ever make me feel this way,

Then when I realized it was all just an illusion,

The fun ended and I hit the concrete with a cold, hard, awakening,

It hurt so much to hear you say I was just a toy,

You ruined me,

I am no longer the boy with the bright eyes or beautiful smile,

I am now the broken boy drowning in his tears,

Who can barely breathe at the simple thought of what we had,

The boy who deep down, is slowly dying,

I will forever be, the boy you ruined...

I feel as though my whole world is on fire.

I try to move on.

I want these feelings gone.

Some people just aren't meant to stay in our lives forever,

So I decided to write you this final letter.

I know that you will never reply,

Because this is where I finally say goodbye.

HAHAHA~