"Cassie? Cassie? Are you still with me?"
I continued to gaze at the large tank full of colorful fish. There was something calming about just watching them swim around. A little yellow one with a blue stripe on his side kept darting rapidly across the tank. He was swimming with such intensity, it was as if his life depended on him making it from one side to the other and never stopping. I couldn't take my eyes off him; probably because on some level I could relate to him. Don't stop . . . just keep going and everything will be fine.
It's when you have to stop and really take a good hard look at the fish tank you are swimming in . . .well, that is when shit gets real.
"Cassie?"
Despite the fact I didn't want to deal with anything in my life, that's exactly what I was supposed to be doing. I needed to stop swimming and trying to pretend everything was fine when clearly it wasn't. I was not fine. Everything was about as far away from 'fine' as it could fucking get. My fish tank was cloudy and full of icky stuff I didn't want to look at. I would've rather swam back and forth, pretending all the muck was not there. Problem was, the muck gets so thick, your best friend walks in on you sitting in the shower, soaking wet with all of your clothes on, sobbing uncontrollably while drinking out of a bottle of cheap wine while the water falls down on you. As the water swirled down the drain, so did any will or desire on my part to move forward with my life. It really was not a pretty picture, and far from one of my finer moments. I was glad it was Jenna who found me. I didn't know where I would be without her, but I am pretty sure there is no fucking way it would be anything good. And that's why, a week later, I was sitting in some damn shrink's office.
"Cassie? We can sit here for the whole session in silence, but these sessions will work much better and you will get more out of them if you talk."
I pulled my eyes away from the fish tank for a moment and looked at the therapist sitting in front of me. She was probably in her mid to late forties with dark brown hair pulled back into a low, tight ponytail. Her clothing was conservative; a white blouse tucked into a tan pencil skirt with nude-colored heels and minimal jewelry and makeup. It was the kind of look you expected from someone who was a grown-up professional and was a stark contrast to what I was wearing. I was just a few months shy of turning twenty-two and had on a leopard-print dress that hit me mid-thigh, black knee-high boots, and an arm full of gold bracelets that clinked together when I moved. My bright red hair was piled on top of my head and I had on my signature bright red lipstick with my dark-framed cat-eye glasses. Even though my life was a shit show, I wasn't going to look like my life was a shit show. Just keep moving and putting on a good picture for the rest of the world and everything will be fine. Just like my new, little, yellow fish buddy.
"If you don't want people to watch the fish, you should probably take the fish tank out of your office," I said glancing at the therapist before turning my attention back to the tank.
"What is it about the fish that draws you in?" she asked.
I rolled my eyes as I turned back to her. "Are you serious with that question?"
She looked surprised for a moment. I thought therapists weren't supposed to be surprised by anything you told them. I smirked a little to myself having shocked her so quickly. Score one for Cassie.
"Why wouldn't I be serious?"
I turned and looked her in the eye. "Do you always respond with a question?"
She didn't miss a beat. "Do you always try to avoid answering questions?"
I looked at her and smiled. "What was your name again?"
YOU ARE READING
I Hate Nothing About You
Lãng mạn*THIS IS A THREE CHAPTER EXCERPT* I Hate Nothing About You was published by Cherry Publishing July 30, 2021. The full story is available on Amazon for Kindle and in paperback. Links in my bio. By all appearances, Cassie Charles is a confident, bol...