vii. W H Y ? 'i want to be in your arms too, but tell me why that shouldn't be a mistake'
~𝘤𝘭𝘢𝘳𝘢 𝘢𝘴𝘬𝘴 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘺 𝘴𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘭𝘥 𝘢𝘤𝘤𝘦𝘱𝘵 𝘫𝘪𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯 (mentions of jay park)
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2014
"Will you listen to me?" Jiyong asks Clara as they both walked through the halls backstage.
The two had been ignoring, well Clara had been ignoring Jiyong ever since well they're breakup. But this time they were on tour, together, and it made that harder for her.
"For f*cks sakes!" Jiyong grabbed her wrist before the female rapper could go any faster and further.
As soon as Clara turned around, the view of her was heartbreaking for the ex boyfriend. Her eyes shining, not with happiness but with held back tears.
"Tell me why... Why should I listen to you?" She asks, softly.
"I want you back. I should've told you before, earlier but I couldn't." He says.
"Why didn't you?" She asks, Jiyong's grip finally off her wrist.
"Because I knew how much I'd hurt you. I knew how you didn't want to speak to me again, you made that clear and that's why I didn't. I knew you didn't even wanna see me, that's why I avoided you. But, Ara I want you back."
"I still don't want to speak to you. I still don't like seeing you. Why now?"
Jiyong sighs.
"Because if being honest, finding out you were with Jay made me realize again on how much I don't want to see you with anyone else but me." Jiyong approaches the now crying female in front of him but she moved backwards away from him.
It wasn't the first time the man saw the woman he loves cry. If anything, he was always the one who caught her and tried to comfort her even their time as trainess where they pretented to have hated each other.
"Tell me why, Ji. I can't go back to you knowing the chances of you hurting me again." Clara says.
Jiyong looked to the ground and Clara's footsteps was heard slowly walking away. For the first time, the male rapper didn't think of what he was going to say, he just said it.
"Because I love you! As of right now, yes I'm able to live off without you but I can't even dare to imagine my future without you. Maybe I'm being selfish because all I want is to be happy with you but I want you all to myself. Yes! I admit that I'm f*cking horrible at relationships, at taking care of you, at loving you but I try. I realize my mistakes and I try to make sure I make it up with you. That last mistake that hurt you so much, I kept it a secret because I thought it was the right thing. I thought what you didn't know wouldn't hurt you. That's why that day when your sister saw us, I was with her. I was trying to make it clear that I didn't want to continue on to more. It was one night that shouldn't have happened. I should've stopped it because I should know what I'm doing even if I was drunk. I'm sorry. I love you."
Jiyong panted, it felt like he was rapping saying everything that he wanted to say to Clara before she walked away. It might be unnoticeable because her back was still turned to Jiyong but she listend to every word he said. She fell in love with him more than she already was. She wasn't expecting these exact words that the rapper stated but every word felt right.
Clara scoffs.
"Ara-"Jiyong starts to speak out, but was cut off with Clara who had already met his embrace.
"I f*cking love you. But you're right you suck at relationships, but what can I do Kwon Jiyong? You're good with your words. Try to make it up to me, then I'll decide. Just don't mess it up this time."
