the library | meanie

35

author's note: this is an addition to the trigger warning chapter I have added before this. this chapter contains a vague mentioning of suicide that happens.

it was really quiet when mingyu woke up. too quiet.

realizing wonwoo was not beside him made him at first anxious, until he heard someone was showering in the bathroom across his room. he breathed out and smiled.

yesterday was a perfect day and he would give his all to re-live it all again. the way wonwoo gave all his attention to him, the way he had been towards him, the way he saw him relax for a second. it was like it was too good to be true.

he sat himself up, giving a slight stretch to his body, a yawn from his mouth was heard and his head turned slightly side to side.

that's when he noticed that wonwoo's backpack was not to be seen at the chair with the desk in his room. letting his eyes wander over to the desk, he noticed four envelopes at the table. his heart dropped, as he got quickly on his feet.

mingyu

my brother

mom and dad

soonyoung

mingyu grabbed the envelope with his name, quickly opening it, ripping it open carelessly. he almost ripped the letter that was inside. he felt his stomach twist and turn along with the ripping like he was ripping himself up along.

bringing the letter up to his face, he could see the letters was written down in a hurry and some were smudged due to a writing hand smoothing over them or that as if someone had dropped any liquid in drops, like tears.

hi, mingyu.

i'm really sorry.

i never wanted to write to you like this. it wasn't supposed to be like this. but the reality is that i am not as brave as i want.

if i could turn back time, i wish i would never taken contact with you. not that i regret meeting you, cause i'm not regretting it, at all, but i know if that was the case, i wouldn't hurt you like i'm doing now.

again i'm really, really sorry. i was imagining that i could make it. that i could be there for you, hoping it was enough for myself. but the pain is unbearable and overwhelming, it feels like i never will be free of it. i just hate myself too much.

you must believe that i have not regretted any second i have spent with you, from that day in the school hallway up to now when i look at you right now. i had the most fun time the time i spent with you, the most fun i will ever have.

i want you to do something for me, mingyu, please. i want you to quit your job at the library, enroll in the university or whatever. make your sister and your parents proud, and meet the love of your life.

i hope you had a great day with me cause i did too.

i love you.

- wonwoo

the letter was, as the messenger, short and of few words. but it was enough to set off a heart-wrenching scream from mingyu, enough to make the person in the shower come out in a hurry. it was not wonwoo.