Tears of Sorrow (Philophobia Series #2)

Prologue

"Thankyou Ethan" our math teacher said

Im just like 0__0 How can he just stand calmly and answer those damn numbers easily.

Me and Ethan are different. He like solving Mathematics while I love reading english literature. I prefer memorising than solving math problems. 🙄 But Ethan? He is not English lover. But fvck when it comes to grammar composition he is better than me. Ewan ko pero nalilito ako kung san ilalagay ang mga was were na yan.

At that time my life seems so perfect. The time when I also met the most unexpected guy with his unexpected love. ❤ He is not that "headturner" not that guy who can easily catch ur attention and he dont even have that "James Reid" look, in short he is not the "ideal man" of any girls. But when I first saw him in front of the class spouting those explanation on how he solved those numbers. Im just like 0__0 How can he just stand calmly and answer those damn numbers easily. I cant loose my eyes on him.  From his beautiful seductive eyes to his not so perfect body but eysh ne. Waaaah ang kireee ko. Akala ko yung feeling na yun e pagkamangha lang 'coz I can say he is really good when it comes to number. Na siguro ni minsan hindi pa nauutakan sa pera😆
Brain. Check. Sa looks? Check na check. Pak.

Second Semester. Im not close with Ethan sa tingin ko nga hindi ako nageexist sa kanya. We used to be groupmates pero hindi kami nagiimikan. Hindi ko lang alam kung bakit. Umiiwas ako? Yeah. Because I know its wrong. I tried not to talk to him.

I just enjoyed every moment with my friends. But damn. He did nothing pero arghhh. Do I love him? Wala akong intensyon na jowain ang mokong na to. I just want to express my feelings. Hindi ko naman ineexpect na mahalin niya din ako. I just want to confess, that's it. Pero alam mo yung feeling na may doubt ka kasi takot ka maignore? Yung natatakot ka sa kung anong reaction niya? Kasi sino ba naman ako? Like duh? Im just no body. Stupid. Idiot. I dont have that Catriona Gray's face and that 'Pia Wurtzbach's heart. Im not that kind of a girl na magugustuhan mo. This is just me. Maldita. Pasaway. Maingay. Madaldal. Malakas tumawa. Hindi nga kasi ata ako babae? 😂 I don't have the confidence Kaya kineep ko na lang sa sarili ko. Pero who knows? After a month nagkachat kami. Halos araw araw. Then he confess. He asked kung pwede manligaw. ako? Halerrr tatanggi pa ba ako? I like him since the first time I saw him. So pumayag ako. Tamang landian landian lang

"Kumain ka na"
"Out na ako"
"Goodmorning"
"Goodnight"

Yazz ganyan lang. Mga panahong kinikilig ako🙄 at hindi ko mahanapan ang dahilan kung bakit at papaano hays. Ganon siguro talaga kapag in love. Para kang nasa isang fairy tale

Mula nung naging kami wala naman masyado nagbago. We just realized na parang hindi swak? Alam mo yung feeling na marami kaming hindi pinagkakasunduan. I begged for him to stay. I cried a lot. I lose myself. Sa mga panahong yun ang alam ko lang I cant loose him. I tried everything. I did anything. Nagawang kong umiyak sa maraming tao. Ewan ko pero kahit hindi mo gusto kahit anong pilit mo kapag sobrang bigat na ng nararamdaman mo kapag sobrang nahihirapan ka na kung papatak yung luha mo , papatak yan. Kahit sa maling tao, kahit sa maling pagkakataon. 💔 Yung hindi mo na mararamdaman yung hiya. Kasi nabalot ka na ng sakit. Alam mo yung feeling na alam mong sobrang nasasaktan ka na yung alam mong nahihirapan ka na yung gusto mo ng tumigil gusto mo ng sumuko pero di mo magawa. Yung lahat gagawin mo para sa akala mong "TAMANG" tao para sayo.

Naayos naman. Sabi nila Love is sweeter the second time around. Pero bakit parang Mali na naayos pa? Na ayusin pa? Pero again. For the second time I begged. Pero ewan ko ba maybe He dont like me. But halerrr. I wont even change just for him. Kasi naniniwala ako na kapag mahal mo yung isang tao, mahal mo. Tanggap mo kung ano siya at kung sino siya. Tanggap mo kahit yung badsides niya. And you dont even have to ask her/him to change o itama kung ano man yung mali sa kanya. Kasi kung mahal ka niyan kusa yan magbabago hindi lang para sayo kundi para na din sa sarili niya.  Hindi ka na magdedemand ng kung ano ano pa. Youll just accept her and love her with all your heart.  Kung hindi ganyan? Then, its not love.

Baka pinagtagpo lang kayo para ipadama kung pano sumaya ng pansamantala. . People come and go. Some will love you, some will test you, and some will bless you.

Then reality snap me. It's just a DARE. Why do I take it seriously? 😂

Narealize ko lang na no one is worth begging for kaya magmula noon, The old me died. And the new me was born, the fierce, bold and fearless version of Sabrina.

Years later we met again. In the very wrong way. But for me that was cool. I will show him what he released. The woman who begged for his love was the one who would destroy and overthrow him.

But when your heart says 'go ahead you still love him' . But your mind says 'that's enough, he ruined you' What will you follow. Will you listen to what your mind says? Or follow your heart's desire?

"Fuck you Cali you messed up again. I told you not to do anything against the law!" Im totally pissed off.

"Calm down Sab, It was self defense okay!"

"Its Atty. Sanderson for fuck sake Calista!" I always wanted the 'Atty' before my name. Its cool. I worked hard for it.

"Whatever." she rolled her eyes.

"Who is our witness again?" I curiously asked.

"Ow he is SPO2 Ashford," he paused "Ethan Ashford, Atty. Sanderson. Sounds cool right?" Calista glared. Fuck. No.

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🥀

_angelblues