Moonflower

Chapter 60: Dreams Deferred

The beautiful boy was married. Insuk felt like weeping. She'd had a crush on him for over a year. How could he have married someone else?

"Insuk, I made you your favorite kind of rice cake," Jimin breathed into her ear.

She turned around and gazed up at the sweet face of the royal chef. Her countenance melted into a smile. Jimin had been her best friend since childhood. He had been promoted until he'd come to work in the royal kitchens, and he had brought her with him. To be his assistant. She got to use a knife often. Chopping endless piles of vegetables. Just like she was doing now.

Except today, it wasn't the onions making her cry.

"Close your eyes and open your mouth," he tempted her.

Her eyes fluttered shut, and her mouth popped open.

Jimin stood gazing down at his heart's desire. His eyes slid over the hills and valleys of her countenance. Then they found her eyes. They were shut, but it didn't matter. He could remember her gorgeous, mahogany eyes. Smoky, like the finest of cinnamons. If he wasn't careful, he could lose himself there and burn the rice.

Her face was framed by her curving, cocoa hair. It fell to the bottom of her chin and bobbed around her cheeks when she moved her head. Of course, while she was working with him, she had to pull it into two pigtails, so none of her hair fell into the royal food.

She was so beautiful. And sweet. The perfect combination for a woman. He sighed. Would she ever recognize how much he loved her? Would she ever reciprocate his feelings?

Insuk had seemed down today, so he had prepared a special treat for her. He loved cheering her up. But something was truly wrong today. Her smile had not been in evidence. Not at all. Which was a rare day indeed. She had a sweet and easygoing temperament. Happiness was her default mode.

He slipped the tiny rice cake into her mouth. Her face split into a wide grin.

"Mmm! I swear, Jimin, your rice cakes get better every day!"

She chewed it, thoroughly enjoying its sweetness. And his. He was truly her best friend. When the other children had spurned her because of her deformity, he had befriended her. And surrounded her with kindness.

He had even made sure she had a job in the royal kitchens with him. Despite her being in a wheelchair. She had been certain that her disability would be frowned upon. But Jimin had charmed the old king's wife and convinced her that Insuk was a whiz in the kitchen.

She was a whiz, all right. At chopping vegetables. A whiz with a knife.

"It's Korean food. We will never not need vegetables," Jimin had pointed out. "Your skills will always be in high demand."

But Insuk was sure he was just trying to make her feel better. Still, he had kept his word and taken her with him when he had moved into the palace. She'd been working by his side for the last year.

Now, he smiled down at her. "I'm glad you think so. The current queen absolutely loves my rice cakes. We'll stay in favor with the king for as long as she's alive!"

"If she's living off your food, Jimin, she'll be queen forever. Who would want to die when they're already eating manna from heaven?"

Jimin beamed down at her. He just adored Insuk. At least, she was smiling now. He had always been amazed at her resilience. She'd been born lame. She had never been able to run around with the other children, yet she had always possessed such a zest for life. She hadn't let her deformity get her down. She'd become amazingly creative and had been a brilliant student.

And now she was just as clever in the kitchen. Even if she claimed her only talent was chopping vegetables, Jimin knew different. She was constantly creating new dishes with phenomenal seasoning combinations. And no one made better kimchi than Insuk did.

After a few moments, he noticed the valley had settled between her eyebrows again. Jimin sighed. He couldn't take it anymore.

"Insuk, what's wrong?"

She wiped her face blank and gazed up at him with wide eyes. "Wrong? Nothing's wrong."

"You can't fool your oldest and," he grinned, "wisest friend. You've been moping around all day."

"Have you ever loved someone who never even noticed your existence?"

Wow. What a loaded question.

How was he to answer that?

But it seemed she didn't expect him to. For she continued speaking.

"I liked someone," she sighed loudly. "But he never noticed me. And I recently found out that he got married. I'm just sad. I really liked him."

I know just how you feel.

"I'm sorry, Insuk. I know how much it hurts. He must have been quite blind not to see how absolutely wonderful you are."

She scoffed. "I don't think there was anything wrong with his eyes. Such a beautiful boy would never want a girl in a wheelchair."

"Insuk!"

Jimin had never known her to wallow in self-pity. But he had known she was pining after Jungkook. As were half the girls in the palace. And all the girls from Jungkook's village, Jimin was quite sure.

"There is absolutely nothing wrong with you!" Jimin assured Insuk. "Any guy would be extremely blessed to call you his wife."

She turned startled eyes on Jimin. Those eyes flooded with tears. Jimin was defending her so passionately. He really was the very best of friends.

"You are so kind to me, Jimin. Whatever will I do when you marry? Who will cheer me up then?"

He sighed. "Perhaps I shall never marry," he mumbled.

She raised a dark eyebrow. "Then we can grow old alone together," she smiled, her eyes trained on the knife in her hand as she chopped vegetables.

Jimin stared at her as an idea formed in his mind. "Marry me, Insuk."

Startled, she stopped chopping to stare up at him. "What?"

"If no man asks you to marry him by the time you're twenty, will you marry me? Then we could grow old together. I don't want to be alone. I do, in fact, hate being alone. If it were up to me, I would already be married. You would be doing me a favor to marry me."

She considered him. "I doubt very much that you will still be unmarried in three years. But if you are, I will marry you." She gave a definitive nod of her head. But then she frowned. "Are you sure? I don't really want to stick you with a lame bride, Jimin. I love you so, you know."

Once again, he sighed.

Not half as much as I love you.

But he didn't say it. He'd never said it.

"Insuk, stop insulting my future bride. I am extremely proud of you and care not one whit that you spend your life sitting in a chair. I would love you any way I could get you."

She gazed up at him, an inscrutable expression in her eyes. Then her face suddenly broke into a wide smile.

"I just adore you, Jimin! You are always so good to me!"

He turned to smile at her. Apparently, he'd been able to lift her spirits after all.