Ebony and Chresanto have been married for a few years now and the honeymoon phase of their relationship has levelled up to the next stage of their life, leaving its place to a more settled routine, where they still try their best to be each other's...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
"The journey of healing....
How do you proceed to heal yourself when the trauma still has control over your life ? When the damage seems to have destroyed more than you could ever imagine ? When your heart feels like it's under a ton of stones and you're incapable to get them off because the pain is just too overpowering ?
After all, what is healing ?
When do you feel like the job was properly done ? When do you know the damage no longer affects and controls you ? When do you know that you can feel free to breathe without feeling like the weight of the world is on your back ?
Does it feel like being born again ? A fair second chance at life ? Does it feel like you can be and do better ? Will you know how to treat people better ? Will you have more compassion ? More empathy ? Will I be able to treat myself better ? Will I ever feel completed ?
The journey of healing as of right now is scary.
I feel lonely and misunderstood. I sometimes feel like the bad guy for the feelings that take over me, the feelings caused by different situations that life threw at me. I don't always know how to react and if I'm even right to feel the way I do.
And to explain that to others is like being confronted with language barrier. I can't find the correct words and terms to express my thoughts. It feels like somebody put a wall between me and others to prevent connections and relationships, resulting in an isolation that I've never asked for. A feeling of loneliness, that I have no other choice but to get acquainted with, because it won't just go away. But maybe if I get confortable with it, it'll start to feel better and a little bit different...I'm not sure...
There's nothing wrong with enjoying your own company. Is it not where self-love find its foundation ? If you can't appreciate your own energy, who would ? If you don't have your own best interest at heart, who would ? If you don't like yourself, who would ? If you don't love yourself, who would ? How can you feel completed if your heart and your spirit don't align ? Body, heart and soul need to be one.
In order to teach others to properly love you, you have to know how to love yourself first.
And you can't sit around and wait for somebody else to do that for you. They won't know and it'll give them an unruly control over you, a power that you can't put in someone's hands, mainly when you don't really know what their true intention is with you. You can't depend on another person to be happy, mainly if they're not truly happy themselves. Misery loves company, and miserable people won't think twice about dragging you down their destructive path with them.
Actually, isolating from everybody can be therapeutic. Isolating from the right people is a skill that needs to be mastered at some point in your life in order to protect yourself. Your energy won't align with everybody else, and that's fine.
