HAIR | MT

XIII

TODAY IS MY date with mark and i will be lying if i say i'm not nervous. in fact, i've been nervous about today all week. and i still feel nervous as we walk side by side towards the location of our date. i let him choose where we will be going but he still hasn't told me where that is, what we will be doing, or even what is in the paper bag he is holding.

i glance at him curiously as we stop in front of a building. i read the words written prettily on the sign above the door again. "you really signed us up for a pottery class." i say with an amused chuckle, eyeing the door in front of us. he turns to me with a shy smile, before leading me inside.

we are welcomed warmly, not just by the instructor but by the general atmosphere of the workshop. mark and i are each given an apron and directed to one of the rooms. the instructor goes on to explain that though there is usually a general class with four to five couples, we get an individualised class since a morning class was requested rather than the more popular evening one.

i look at mark and he smiles at me softly again. i turn away, unable to stop myself from thinking of the fact that his smile which was once a rare occurrence is now something that i get to see all the time. i have to admit, i feel quite lucky. actually, very lucky. because mark has one of the prettiest smiles i've ever had the honour of seeing.

once we are settled in the class, the instructor begins to give us the basics. she is incredibly nice and patient, making sure that mark and i fully understand before she continues with her lesson. whenever i glance at mark, all his attention is riveted on what she's saying, meanwhile i keep getting distracted by him.

our instructor gives us some time to take a break and leaves us in the class by ourselves. after she's gone, mark finally reveals the contents of the paper bag. food. "i thought we might get hungry." he says quietly. i beam brightly at him. "that's very thoughtful, mark. thank you." i tell him. he gives me another one of his smiles in reply. we eat in comfortable silence.

finally, our instructor returns and it's time for us to attempt some pottery making and get our hands dirty, literally. "are you going to be making pieces for yourselves or for each other?" the instructor asks. before i can even think of which option i want to go with, mark answers, taking me by surprise. "i'm making something for her."

i turn to look at him but he avoids my eyes, staring straight ahead at our instructor. i'm left staring at the side of his face and i see how his ear takes on a bright red hue. i can feel the warmth that has taken over my face as well as i turn my attention back to the instructor. "i'm going to make something for him too." my voice is lower than i'm used to.

in my peripheral vision, mark lowers his head but still doesn't look my way. but the slight upward tilt of his lips doesn't go unnoticed. i find myself smiling in response.

after we each decide on what we want to make – i go with a mug – our instructor guides us through the process. it is incredibly messy but fun nonetheless. and i find myself enjoying the way the clay glides against my palm. i can't stop smiling as i work, my gaze undeniably straying to mark more times than i'd like to admit.

at some point, mark accidentally squashes his pottery and his eyes widen at his mistake. just seeing his expression, i burst out laughing uncontrollably. he narrows his eyes at me but doesn't seem mad about it. still laughing, i let my shaping mug cave in, in my distraction. a gasp leaves my lips as i realise what's happened. "ha!" lets out, eyes crinkling with mirth and surprising me. pressing his lips together, he tries to suppress his laughter but anyone can see that he is highly amused by the irony.

our session goes by much faster than i would have liked especially since i was enjoying how much mark was steadily opening up. the instructor lets us know we can return for our pieces after it's been fired in a kiln. once again, we're outside the building. i glance back at it before turning back to him. "that was really fun." i say earnestly. he nods in agreement, gracing me with a smile again. i won't lie, i feel very spoiled right now.

he rubs at his belly and i watch for a moment before asking, "are you hungry?" he pinches his fingers in reply. "let's go get some food then." i tell him with an amused grin. he beams childishly at that and my heart does a little flutter in my chest.

as we walk, i realise i'm loving his company more and more each day, even when we aren't speaking at all. my gaze keeps flickering towards his profile as we walk side by side. every time our arms brush, my heart skips at least ten beats. the contacts are brief but the warmth comes off him in waves and makes me itch to hold his hand.

my thoughts stray to the story jackson told me a while ago. i still can't imagine having the heart to betray or hurt anyone, especially someone like mark in that way. and it saddens me to think that neither him nor jackson came out unscathed from it. and from the looks of it, neither did jinyoung. i really think it might be healing for mark to confront jinyoung about what happened back then instead of ignoring and avoiding him. but it is still up to him at the end of the day.

i unwittingly let out a loud sigh, causing mark to look at me in question. noticing his gaze, i shoot him the easiest looking grin i can muster. he doesn't look convinced and suddenly stops walking, making me do the same.

"what's wrong, bee?" he asks, pinning me with his gaze. i press my lips together, trying to think of a believable excuse. his caramel eyes are too distracting and i come up empty. "um," i glance around, spotting a bench. feeling brazen, i take his hand in mine like i'd been thinking of earlier and lead him to it.

i really don't want this to ruin our date, but i feel like i might never broach the topic if i don't do it now. i seat him down and plop down next to him. i take a deep breath before turning to look at him. "you're probably not going to like this." i start hesitantly. he says nothing, staring expectantly at me.

taking another shaky breath, i look away from him. "jackson told me what happened between you and... jinyoung. i know about her." i mumble out, thinking it better not to say her name. i only realise we were still holding hands when he pulls away sharply. i look up at him and his beautiful eyes have suddenly lost their lustre. he shifts away from me and i notice that his hands are now shaky.

"how long?" his deep voice resonates in my chest. "a couple of weeks." i answer meekly. "but don't blame jackson. i practically forced him to tell me." i add quickly, hoping he doesn't get mad at his best friend because of me.

he goes quiet once more, and this time it's unnerving. my heart is pounding against my ribs in a way that i don't exactly fancy. seconds tick by slowly as i wait for him to say something. "mark?" i reach for him and he pulls back like my hand is covered in poison. the action stings more than i'd like to admit.

getting on his feet, he steps away from me. his gaze meets mine again and it's completely blank. "is that what this was?" his whispered voice betrays his feelings. he sounds hurt. "huh?" i let out, confused. he turns away for a moment and when he swivels towards me again, his eyes are glistening with the emotions he seems to no longer be able to hide.

"did you feel bad for me? asking to hang out. today. was it all some pity date?"

🥀🥀🥀

hello again after ten thousand years. i've been working on this in my free time and basically i'm almost done writing it all. hopefully i'll be able to complete it before the end of the year. thanks for your patience!