Hunter's Alpha (gxg) ✓

32. Kiss Me

I'm not even mad.

I don't think I could be mad if I tried.

Maybe, once, I would have been. I know I can protect myself . . . but the fact that Hunter put me under her protection here . . . I soften. Just a little.

It's close to midnight now, and she's still not back.

It makes me wonder. In the beginning, when I first arrived at the Underground, there were entire nights where she was missing. When she didn't back to her room.

Since we started . . . whatever it is we started . . . she's been waking up next to me.

But now that she's gone again, I wonder. Where is she?

With my head buzzing, my fingers dancing against my thighs, I can't stand it anymore. I roll out of bed. My head is aching, but what I need is a drink. Or, well, another one.

It's eleven-something at night. In less than an hour, it'll be Friday.

My thoughts become blurry. I stumble through the room, crashing against the desk. The pale-orange picture frame trembles. Quivers. And falls right off the edge.

"Oh, shit! Shit! Goddamn!" The photograph of the two little girls in black-and-white. The glass shatters, and I drop to my knees.

No. No, no, no, no━

I can't think straight. I can't see straight.

The pieces of the broken glass are in my trembling hands. The photograph━the picture frame━

It meant a lot to Hunter, and I just━I just━

At the back of the picture, there is a little note.

I'll come back for you. I love you 5ever.

Written in a child's handwriting.

Somehow, the loopy scrawl seems almost familiar . . .

What's her name?

It's not important.

I need a drink. I need to tell Hunter. I need to see Tommy.

Staggering to my feet, I tuck the photograph into my pocket and close the door behind me. Breathing hard. Are those━are these tears━

I'm crying. Again.

I don't even know why, but the world smears as my frustration slips down my cheeks. I must be close to my period, or━or━

About to betray the girl you love?

No. No, that's ridiculous. I don't love her. It's been a month, and I . . . I barely only met her.

But you know her.

All in. I said, All in.

And now I'm going to leave. And I can't stop crying. And I wish I had never come here, and I wish my mother had never been killed, and I wish I had never met Hunter, if only so I would have never felt this.

Goddamn it. I need to pull myself together. I'm a disaster, and yet . . . can you blame me?

The elevator and the corridors are empty this late at night.