Should Have Left Earlier!

1

I knew we should have left earlier. I'm almost never wrong about traffic, especially on a holiday. Well, if you  call Valentine's day a holiday. This year it fell on a Friday, so Matt and I are going away for the long weekend. One of Matt's coworkers owns a fancy summer home out in the countryside, and Matt talked him into letting us have the place to ourselves for the weekend. It wasn't hard, considering the house is basically a ghost town this time of year. Such a massive palace, just sitting there, lonely.
   Apparently a married couple, a groundskeeper and a housekeeper, come by occasionally to check on the place, but otherwise it's completely vacant. I'm looking forward to the emptiness, the silence, the space. I know we're coming here together, but having real space instead of being cooped up in a small studio apartment with Matt is something that I really need. I think that's another reason why we're doing this, our relationship has felt as vacant as the house recently. I wonder if this trip will do us more harm than good. So far, it's not off to a great start. I knew we should have left earlier.
    
      "We've been stuck in the same spot for 30 minutes," I complain. "And I have to pee."
  
  "I can pull over to the side, you can go in the woods or something. There's nothing but road for the next 10 miles at least. And we aren't moving," Matt added.

  "Yeah, I know we aren't moving. I knew we should have left earlier."  I snapped, rearranging my position and searching for relief "Have I ever been the one to pee in the woods?!"

  "It's your only option for now, babe. Unless you can hold it." He grabbed my hand and kissed it, "And if we left earlier, we wouldn't have been able to see the sunset on the horizon."

  "A few minutes of the sunset isn't worth all of this," I pulled my hand away from him coldly and undid my seatbelt. "Fine, I'll go into the woods. Don't leave without me."

"No promises," he grumbled under his breath, "Hurry up."

I grabbed some napkins out of the glove compartment and walked into the woods. I already notice how dark it feels, the last strip of sunlight hidden amongst the trees. I can barely see. I quickly pick a nearby tree to squat behind, and I pull my pants down.   "Finally," I whisper to myself.

I close my eyes and exhale, starting to feel a little regret over how I treated Matt back in the car. This is supposed to be a good time, and I should be putting forth more effort. To be honest, things just haven't felt right between us lately.  We first got together when we were in middle school, and it's almost been 10 years now. I can't help but to wonder sometimes, wonder if we're wasting our youth on each other. I wonder if this is even fair. Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything in the world, but it feels like I can see our entire future laid out in front of us. I already know exactly what a future with Matt entails; safety, normalcy, a white picket fence with the white dress and diamond ring to match, it's all so predictable. I wonder if I want those things. I wonder if he even wants those things. Regardless of whether or not we want it, it's what's going to happen if we stay together, and we both know that.
...We both know that, right?

My thoughts are interrupted by a loud BANG, and the tree starts to violently shake. I stand up fast, struggling to pull my pants up as I step back, gawking at the tree. The longer I stare, the faster it shakes. Tree branches fall, leaves crumble, and it keeps going faster. I know I should run, but my feet are glued to the forest floor, held prisoner by the roots and life inside of it. Suddenly, I see the culprit. Two big birds fly out of the tree, chirping at each other. A lovers quarrel. Go figure.

I make my way out of the woods, my eyes searching for Matt's red truck in a sea of grey convertibles. I don't see it. I start to panic. What if he's finally done with my bullshit? What if he just left me here, drove off into the sunset alone? Maybe he saw an opportunity, a road to freedom, and he took it? A wave of relief started to succumb to me as I considered this, but the wave quickly dried and shriveled up as my eye just barely caught sight of a red truck, ALL the way up the road. I sigh and march off in his direction, daydreaming about turning around and taking that road to freedom myself.