Meeting Sarah/A Jordan Knight FanFic (Completed)✔️

Chapter Fifteen

Chapter Fifteen

Fuck Cancer.

There were days I sat by Sarah's side because she couldn't get out of bed while she cried from the burning sensation that coursed through her body. Food was the least appealing thing to her. When she did eat, she puked up everything.

The bad days were bad. Horrible really. There was no other way to say it. I carried Sarah out of bed because she physically couldn't move. It was changing her. Completely dark circles had formed under her eyes; her cheeks were beginning to sink in.

Watching the person I loved suffer this way was excruciating. I hated that I was helpless. I hated that I couldn't do anything to take away her pain. I would never be able to forget the agony she was in. Her cries would forever haunt my mind.

Cancer, how I fucking hate you.

One day, one really bad day, we sat outside as Lyra played in the yard, running with a bubble wand in the air. Sarah sat with a soft blanket draped over her body, her eyes focused on the ocean. She hadn't said much that morning. Every once in a while she would moan, and I knew something inside of her was hurting.

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, look!" Lyra twirled and a cluster of bubbles popped from her wand. She danced around, trying to pop every bubble she could.

I looked over at Lyra and then to Sarah. "Sarah?" I questioned when her gaze hadn't strayed from the ocean.

Sarah didn't respond. 

A few minutes passed, and Lyra's infectious laughter bellowed across the yard. "Mommy, come see what I can do!" Lyra giggled and slid down the slide.

I again pulled my gaze away from Lyra and looked over at Sarah. She exhaled, her eyes glassy with tears.

"Are you feeling okay?" I whispered. Sarah slowly nodded and closed her eyes. A lone tear dripped down her cheek.

"Mommy, did you see that?" Lyra asked.

"Lyra!" Sarah shouted, her voice roaring through the yard. "I physically can't do this right now! I am tired, I don't feel well, and the last thing I want to do is run around with you, so give me a few minutes of peace!" The second the words were out of her mouth, she hunched forward and began to cough.

Lyra ran inside the house, hiding from the chaos. I rushed to Sarah's side. "I didn't mean to yell at her, Jordan, but I'm tired, weak, everything burns. It hurts to breathe, to swallow, to fucking think. I just . . . I just need five minutes. Just five minutes, where I can just ignore every single thing because right now I honestly feel like walking off that ledge and never looking back!" Covering her face, she wept.

I rubbed her shoulder. "It's okay. Lyra will understand."

She looked up at me, her eyes drenched with tears. "I'm a horrible mother."

"Sarah," I whispered and draped my arms over her.

"Get off of me!" She tried to push me away, but she was so weak I didn't move an inch.
"Lyra needs you. She needs you to tell her that I still love her because I can't chase after her. Tell her that I didn't mean to yell at her. Tell her that I'm sorry God gave her such a crappy mother."

These were the bad days. The days I couldn't do anything but listen. When we were at the mercy of cancer and dropped down to our knees and prayed for a better day. This was a terrible fucking day.

"She knows you love her." I brushed her hair away from her face.

"Leave me alone!" Sarah exhaled. "Go, Jordan. Please go hug her because I can't."

I left Sarah and walked inside the house. I retrieved the key Sarah had placed over the door of Lyra's room and unlocked her door.

"Lyra . . ." I pushed open the door and heard her snuffling on the bed.

"Go away!" She cried.

I sat on her bed and brushed her hair to the side. "Mommy loves you very much, Lyra. She didn't mean to yell."

"I know." She turned to face me. "I miss her. I miss how she used to play with me and braid my hair."

I patted the bed and Lyra sat up. "Mom will have bad days, and then she'll have good days. Today is a bad day, and I'm sorry."

"I don't like this cancer."

"I don't either, princess." I kissed the top of Lyra's head.

Holding Lyra to my chest, I closed my eyes and prayed for a better day.