Meeting Sarah/A Jordan Knight FanFic (Completed)✔️

Chapteer Twenty-Six

Chapter Twenty-Six

I thought I knew what pain felt like.

I had broken plenty of bones as a kid. And losing out
on Lyra's first few years was painful. Watching Sarah go through chemo was tortuous to my soul, and when she decided to stop treatment, I thought the world would come to an end. But never had I felt pain like the day Sarah took her last breath.

It ripped through me.

It shattered my soul.

I tried to scream, but no sound would come out.

The pain was unbearable, uncontrollable and indefinable.

Sarah left us three months and two days after she'd stopped treatment. Even with all the counseling we had, I was not prepared for that day.

After Scotland, we'd had two great months at home. She was able to take Lyra to school and dance class. She was able to watch Lyra blow out her candles for another birthday. She had a normal life. But three months and two days after she stopped treatment, she knew her time with us was up.

It was an ordinary Tuesday. I was still asleep when she touched my shoulder. "Jordan," she moaned, her hoarse voice waking me. There was blood dripping from her nose. I quickly grabbed a tissue.

"I'm really tired, Jordan." She coughed and I noticed the blood pooled in her mouth.

"Are you in pain?" My breath caught in my throat and my heartbeat accelerated with each passing second.

Sarah shifted her head and looked up at me. "I'm not in pain, babe."

"I'm going to go get Jennifer, okay?" I raked my hand through my hair. "You need to be here when I come back." My voice faded to a hushed stillness. Sarah gripped my hand and nodded her head.

My legs felt like Jell–O as they ran down the hallway toward Jennifer's room. My knuckles ached as they banged on her door and I barged in. "She needs you. She's . . ." The air evaporated from my lungs. "She's . . ." My vision blurred. "I think this is it."

I had mentally prepared myself for this moment. We had done it all. We talked about her dying and what she wanted. She had made her peace with Jeremy. We had spent hours talking about life. But I wasn't ready.

Not yet.

Not now.

Not ever.

I would never be ready to say good–bye.

"Jordan." Jennifer gripped my shoulders. "Breathe." She nodded dramatically. "You're going to need to be strong. For her and for Lyra."

I nodded slowly. My fists balled at my sides. I inhaled all the air my lungs could physically take in and still it wasn't enough. Sarah sat in the same spot I had left her. She and Jennifer spoke softly as Sarah reported on her pain. Jennifer walked over to the in–room nursing station she had made for Sarah and pulled out a syringe with her pain medication.

Sarah turned her attention from Jennifer to where I stood. My body rested against the doorframe. My legs wouldn't move.

"Hi," she whispered. Tears filled her eyes. "Can you hold me?" She reached for me. This was the moment she needed me the most. I pushed off the wall and walked over to her bedside. Kneeling beside her, I traced the outline of her face.

Jennifer squeezed her hand before heading to the door. "If either of you need anything, I'll be right outside." She looked back at Sarah. "Do you want me to have your mother care for Lyra?"

"Bring her to me when she's up," Sarah whispered.

I pulled the comforter back and crawled into bed with her. Sarah's head rested on my chest, her breathing coming out in spurts. With a clenched heart, my hand ran up her arm, tracing love letters over her skin.

"Are you scared?" I asked once her breathing seemed to normalize.

"Not really," she answered with a staid calmness. "I was afraid my life didn't have a meaning and that I would be forgotten in a few years, but my life had a purpose—to love you and bring Lyra into this world. Once I let go of that fear, serenity came easily. I've accepted my destiny. Even though my time with you was short–lived, being with you, our love, our family, has been the best part of my life. I know one day our souls will meet again. One day we will get a do–over. Until then, our short time together was worth it all."

I kissed the top of her head and closed my eyes. She was so strong.

We stayed in bed that day. Lyra joined us and Sarah hugged her tightly, showering her with kisses. She lay between us, her head resting on her mother's heart. I draped my arms over them both and counted the last few minutes I had with her, praying that this time, the seconds would feel like eternity.

The sky changed from blue to a soft peaceful orange, in the sky. Sarah grew weaker, her breathing barely a whisper. She was leaving us. "One day we will do this again." I held her hand. "We'll meet, fall in love and have a beautiful family."

"Yes..." She moaned. "I love you." She closed her eyes and a lone tear fell down her cheek. Her hand traced a heart over my skin. Her last letter to me.

I kissed her warm lips one last time and held her and Lyra.

"It's okay, Sarah." I swallowed back a sob. "I'll take care of her." I kissed her forehead.

"Promise?" Her word was barely a whisper.

"I promise." I choked on my words. "You can let go, my love." The tears ran down my face. "You don't have to suffer anymore. I will always love you."

Moments later she took her last breath. She was gone.

"Daddy?" Lyra looked up at me. "Is Mommy sleeping?"

I swallowed the burning sensation that had crawled up my throat. "Yes, princess." I prayed to the God I no longer believed in to give me the strength to not lose all control. "Mommy is finally sleeping. She's not in pain anymore."

Lost.

Numb.

Helpless.

There was no preparing, no counseling available for the pain that saturated my soul. It would spend the rest of my life roaming the earth alone because its other half had left him behind. The only thing that kept me going was the little girl hugging me.

She was the reason I would continue to breathe.