The perfect pray [NAMJIN]

20. Empty arms

I slowly opened my eyes, with a small headache trying to take over. I spended the last few days trying to avoid Namjoon. I'm not scared anymore, or at least not that much. I talked a lot to Hobi too even to Yoongi sometimes to understand Namjoon's situation better.

My conclusion? There are non. Not at the moment. I'm angry that Namjoon didn't share this with me but than again it is probably a really difficult topic to talk about.

I made my way to my small kitchen and prepared left overs for breakfast. Sense of deja vu hit me.

I remember the time I wanted to cook for Namjoon but he always declared, or how he didn't sleep as much or how he hated garlic, even the smell of it. Now that I know it's really obvious, but I don't think I would've figurate it out even if he would've been a pureblood.

The food on my tongue tastes like sand. Even if me and Namjoon didn't eat togethet that much, well more like never, sometimes he would sit with me and we'd talk. It felt just right, hearing his giggles in the morning, dimples and all. He looked like a innocent child, not a blood thirsty vampire. Only in bed he would let go of that purity, or when he teased me over my lame jokes.

God I miss him don't I?

I finish my meal, and went straight to sit on my couch. I'll be home this whole weekend anyways, my natural beauty is all I need today.

Just when I sit down on the soft cushions I feel my phone vibrate. I already know it's Namjoon, he always texts me in the morning. I don't know what thoughthough because I don't read them. I'm scared that I would go running to him without a single thought.

I know I will need to face this issue someday, but not today. It's still fresh and I'm scared I would act without thinking again.

He tried to call me few times too, sometimes he even tried to stop me in the hallway but I always found my way out quickly. After three day he finally gave me some space, although I sense that Hobi did talk to him.

I'm glad.

*Namjoon's pov*

I haven't slept for few days now, not that I need it anyways. I'm still hoping for Jin to call me or maybe text me, or at least look me in the eyes in the hallways.

I can't belive I fucked things up so bad. Will he ever talk to me again? Will I be able to ever hold him again, kiss those plump lips or hear his laugh.

I miss him so much it hurts. I finally met someone with whom I fell my hearth could beat again and I ruin it just like that.

God I don't know how will I explain this to him, how do I tell him I was praying on him but in the process fell for him?

Hoseok did said he talked to him, he explained the basic stuff but left the personal things to me, of course this is my mess after all.

He said to give him space, and so I did, but I can't stop at least with the texting. Just to make him sure I'm waiting for him. I will always be. Whenever he decides I'm worth it again, if ever. I have a lot of time after all.