How May You Help Me? ( Kellic )

-Chapter One-

A/N So this is my first story ever so please dont make fun of me xD but yea I hope you enjoy. This story contains self harm and attempted suicide so please do not read if you cant handle it please :(

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KELLIN'S POV

I shakily grabbed my razor from the bottom of my desk drawer. I stared at the piece of metal that I was fiddling in my fingers. I was contemplating if I should do it tonight. I already did it this morning and I have never done it twice in one day. But I really needed the release.

I shook my head and put it back where it was safe. I'm stronger than that. Maybe I can actually go clean like I tried last week. Obviously it didn't work. But maybe, just maybe I could this time.

No you can't. You're pathetic. Weak. Useless. No one would care so just do it.

And there goes my thoughts again. They are constantly telling me these things and they are right. I should just give up.

Just as I made my decision, they was a knock on my door.

"Kellin sweetie, dinner is ready." My mom called out to me through the door.

No I'm not hungry. Look at me. I'm fucking fat. When I didn't say anything, which I usually don't, my mom walked in.

"Kellin please eat something. I'm worried about you." She said as she sat on my bed next to me.

No you don't. Nobody cares about me.

"Sweetie please talk to me." She urged.

And nothing. I haven't talk to her in a while and I'm not going to start now.

My mother sighed, got off the bed, and walked towards the door. Just before she left she spun around and spoke. "I know you haven't spoken to anyone since your dad left with your sister, but you have to move on Kellin. That was 8 years ago, and it's getting old. I dont know how long you are going to act like this ,but you better clean up your act because me and Blake are fed up." And with that she slammed the door shut.

She's right. I should get over it but I just can't. I thought my dad loved me and my mom. But I guess he loved my sister more.

Kailey was my best friend. I loved her so much and she was the best sister any one could ever ask for. I was always a shy kid and I only ever talked to Kailey. I did talk to my mom and dad occasionally but I didn't trust them. Kailey was the only one I trusted and then one day when I was 9, she was just gone along with my dad and all me and my mom was left of them was a note that simply said, 'I couldn't do this anymore, so I took Kailey and left.' Thats all it said. No fucking sorry or anything. And just a few years ago my mom met Blake and now they are married and happy.

I dont see how mom could've moved on so quickly but she did. And they got stuck with me. A depressed, suicidal mute 17 year old. Im sure they love me to death but theres only so much you can handle from me. I barely eat anything and cut everyday. Of course they dont know that. But im sure when I turn 18 they'd want me out.

Soon enough I got tired and easily drifted to sleep.

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A/N soooo um yea first chapter kellin yay.

Sorry if it sucked but im not good at these things

Um next chapter is going to be all viccy poo and his life and then the next should be like schooling around ya feel? Uh sorry im kinda awkward but im nervous that this story is gonna suck