The Yeet Saga Bk. 2: Trouble in Puerto Rico

Chapter 4: The Demon, it Approaches

The crew arrived at the center of the island: a round patch of dirt and grass surrounded by the thicc Rican jungle on all sides. They were covered in mosquito bites and other disgusting stuff, but it mattered not. Their minds were on only one thing... the rift opening in front of them. A hole in space-time, hell presumably on the other side, was growing in front of their very eyes. Slowly, but surely, lightning zapped and was absorbed into it, seeming to be drawn inside as the tunnel ripped wider.

"Rip and tear... rip and tear..." Wamf whispered almost under his breath, pumping his clenched hands, psyching himself up.

Loki stared at him for a second, then looked towards Klip. "Klipklop, you said something back on the boat.. about him being a legend..."

"Who, the college student? Well, I didn't quite say legend..."

"Might as well have. What's the story behind that? How do you know my boyfriend?"

"You want to know now? Of all times?"

Loki nodded. "To get my mind off of things..."

"If you insist. However, I must warn, it's a long story."

"I've got time..." she looked at the portal slowly opening, a few millimeters at a time. "I think."

"Alright, well... queue flashback. Long ago, Wamf was known as Shokoroki. Or CairoXorias. In those days, he was friends with a different crew. Instead of his adopted children from Puerto Rico, there was the squeaker squad. The members varied over time, but the staple members were pretty consistent."

Reaper walked over, wanting to know the history as well. "And this group... they were strong?"

"Eh, some of them. Even though there was no clear leader, Wamf, as we know him now, would usually provide shelter in the form of an apartment complex, sustenance in the form of crack donuts, transportation, and medical support via the Holy Bandaids."

"Holy... Bandaids?"

"Well, that's what the people of the forums call them. Fans of the legend, if you will. The true name is not known, all is known is he had this specific box of Bandaids that, when applied, would work much like your flans, Mrs. Wamfette, healing the body from even a near-death state, except with no side effects."

"How did he get them?"

Klip shrugged. "No one knows... anyways, not to detract too much, this crew had to face another threat some many years ago. An incredibly strong threat that, if their battle had not turned out the way it did, and if it weren't for the sacrifice of one brave individual, all of us might have never met in the first place, because the world would have been destroyed."

"But... who? What foe? What sacrifice? How did this legend start?"

"Yes, hombre of pescado. We must know." Reaper inquired, kneeling before the knowledgeable aquatic ally.

He sighed. "It all started fourscore and four years yonder..."

April 26th, 2016, somewhere in the Antarctic Shelf...

Six powerful individuals had set out to rescue their greatest friend from the evil reptilian clutches of Hillary Clinton. The friend was dubbed Gwyn, the Queen of Scree, distant lover of Suicide Squad's Harley Quinn, and avid player of Overwatch. A few months prior, when none of the members of the squeaker squad were present to stop this event, she was captured in a Pokéball made of wadded up tampons, a TamponBall if you will, crafted by notorious politician and presidential candidate Hillary Clinton. The individuals included: Cairo a.k.a. Shoko (now known as Wamf), the college student; Ralph, the hyperactive, eat-anything everyman; Sophia, or Sofa, the human couch with IBS; North, the lazy, always-in-pajamas pudding-eating prick-punching powerhouse; AKTSavage (Savage for short), the pansexual pan-deepthroating Autistic Argentinian with a mad crush on Gwyn, and Yung Gravy, American rapper respectively referred to by the gang as the Bard of Bars. These six had fought many battles and came out victorious on their journey from the North American Midwest all the way to the south of Earth, in the great cold, to fight for their friend. They smacked the shit out of powerful foes, including (but not limited to) John Cena, Joe Toblerone, Kaka Klikikiki, a random weeb in a manga shop, Spider-Man, Peter Griffin from Undertale, and notably, Mr. Clean himself, the right-hand man of Mrs. Clinton.