|1| The pain of it

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I remember that day... crystal clear.  I regret that day and I'll regret it for the rest of my days I just know it.

Flashback

"Hey Tooru! Who's that guy over there with the green emerald eyes and black hair?" Ayane asked Tooru grabbing his coat pulling him by the arm to her height level.

"That's Iwa-chan!" He responded smiling at the fact that he's here. He probably just got here I'll go greet him as soon as Ayane lets go.

"He's so hot how did you score a friend like that and why haven't you brought him here before" She commented which makes Oikawa giggle lightly because he sure in hell is quite hot.

"I always bring him you're just never here you're always with your boyfriends or girlfriends" He replied watching him with her.

"Well I'm here now and I'm here to stay! You don't mind if i go introduce myself to him right?" She responded as hyper as she always is.

"No, no not at all" Those words just... rolled off his tongue before he 22could even register what she said or what was happening.

"Wait-wait what" By the time Oikawa had this reaction she had already made her way to him and his face from a smile went to a worried an anxious expression. I know the type of person she is I know she will just immediately flirt with him and making it worst he's such a big flirt too fuck fuck fuck... don't stress he'll probably get annoyed from her soon enough... Soon he'll be annoyed and come over with me. Yeah... just a matter of time.

That day was as if he didn't even exist, it hurt... a lot. I had been looking forward to seeing him with my family on Christmas, he usually liked to skip out big family events and would rather just go to the ones where it was just me and my parents but things with his parents weren't good so he decided to join. He doesn't tell me anything though... maybe he doesn't trust me? Just the thought of that hurt... but nothing hurt more than seeing him with Ayene instead of him. Every week every day every fucking hour it hurts. Ayane confessed to Iwa-chan a few months ago, they have been dating ever since. Ever since it hurt ever since Iwa-chan wouldn't sit with me or Makki or Mattsun because he was always busy with Ayane. I wonder if he tell's her stuff...

Tooru began picturing Ayane and Hajime cuddling in her bed and Hajime telling her the stuff that happens and how he felt during certain occasions just like Tooru would to Hajime without the cuddling part. Well except for a few times.

Just the thought of Hajime trusting her instead of him hurt, his eyes began to water but he tried blinking the tears away. He decided why even try he rolled over on the side of the bed so that he was facing the wall. He wanted to picture Hajime inside his room in his bed holding Tooru in his arms but that just made the tears come faster. Tooru was silent since everyone was home and he didn't want to disturb anyone. He heard his door slam open, he immediately whipped his tears up and thankfully for the fact that he hasn't been crying for that long his eyes weren't that puffy. He grabbed his glasses and puts them on. He sat up and turned to the door seeing Ayane closing the door and flopping next to him.

"Heeyyyy" She said her using her annoying baby voice bouncing off the walls.

Tooru just stared at her blankly before asking "What?"

She scoffed rolling on her side with her head on her hand "I need a reason to come see my brother?"

"Uh yeah, why else would you come so what is it what do you need?" He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Fine, do you know what daddy Haji is going to do today?" She asked looking at him.

Tooru's face from annoyed went to completely disgusted he felt as if he wanted to throw up. "Don't you ever call him that again. Ever. He's mine for today. Don't even try to make me cancel."

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