Bits & Pieces

The life I could have loved

     Running across an expanse of green. Wind whipping across my red flushed face. My hair fluttering behind me like a mane, a constant state of disarray. The rush, the adrenaline, the freedom ... Pure unfiltered ecstasy. Running still, I glimpse shadows at the corner of my eyes. I know exactly who they are. The messy blond hair and piercing blue eyes are unmistakable. Their manic laughter, unquestionable. I increase my pace, sprinting faster than my feet can bear. I dash among the trees, desperate to find sanctuary. Suddenly, as if by a stroke of luck, I spot a hidden alcove ahead. However, before I could even attempt to shake them off my trail, a huge force knocks me off my feet. I hit the ground with a deafening thud. Breathless and heaving, I push my attackers aside and flip onto my back. Glancing up, the world slightly spinning, I pout and say "fine you win". The moment those words brushed past my lips, a cosmic thunderous laugh erupted to greet them. As my vision clears, the figures begin to take shape and I marvel at the sight.

     Standing over me, outlined by the golden rays of the sun, I can see them in full fledge detail. Hunching over in a state of intoxicating cackles, their smiles are large and endless, their eyes glistening with joy and pride. Euphoria was oozing from every cell in their bodies infecting me, spreading slowly through me, washing away my annoyance, my failure, until I too could not help but join in. For a brief moment, my eyes drift above their heads towards the sky. Streaks of the vibrant blue peak between the twisting evergreen trees. Golden sunlight filters through the branches encasing us in a shimmering heavenly glow. Specks of gold swirling around us, highlighting this glorious moment. Trapping us in a world of our own, in an ethereal safe haven separate from the gruesome world of mankind. I close my eyes to fully absorb this moment with the rest of my senses but when I open them again, I am hit with the harsh reality. My eyes open to a world of grey and metal. To the cold and bleak. I am back in my mental cell. My siblings vanished from existence. The memory lost forever. The memory that was nothing more than a twisted act of torturous imagination. Make belief. Fantasy. Delusion. A horrid act of pain my mind inflicted on itself. All that is left now is a shell of a being, eternally tormented with the life it never had.