When I woke up I immediately regretted it. Another day to get through. Even though my childhood wasn't the best I found myself happy back then, comparing to what I am now. Over time, the feeling of emptiness took over me. I don't even consider myself a person, simply because people live and I just exist without any motivation and will to live.


I lazily stood up and went to the bathroom to take a shower. While standing under a stream of hot water I've been wondering if I should attend today's classes. Since I was already awake I decided to drag my ass out of the house to the university. I never really knew what I wanted to do- the best idea for me was leaving the country right after high school and finding a job, but because of my parent's pressure I was kinda forced to further education. Of course, I had to choose a major and ended up with English studies. As soon as I stepped out of the gates of hell, I wrapped myself in a towel and brushed my teeth. I decided to wear all black- loose joggers, hoodie and leather jacket. I dried my hair, wore shoes, and walked out of my apartment. Something like OCD always kicks in when I lock the door, so I stood there for some time pulling the door handle to make sure it was locked. Even though I live near the university and I could walk there within 10 minutes I always take my car to get there.


I'm an introvert so I don't talk much and that's why I didn't have any friends there. When I walked into the class I said "hi" just to be kind. I bet their first impression of me a year ago was that I'm some kind of a snob and ignorant... But honestly, I couldn't care less what others think of me.


Time passed by and it was already 2 PM. I walked out of the building, went straight to my car, and drove to my apartment. It was Friday and I decided to visit my parents because I didn't want them to surprise me with their presence. After I packed my bags and checked multiple times if I locked the door I got to the car and drove off.


I came back the next day. I never had a good relationship with my family. I always dealt with everything that was bothering me by myself. We didn't talk much while I stayed there. Of course, I fought with my younger sister over literally nothing. My parents always asked when will I bring home their "son in law". Well, little did they know... I was 21 and for all these years I never talked about or introduced them any "boyfriend". They were so thirsty for me getting into a relationship that every time I talked about any male friend from high school they (especially my mother) turned into delusional shippers, so I stopped it. The only thing I liked in my family house was my bedroom where I would spend most of the time.


It was 2 AM so I wouldn't fall asleep that early. I decided to go for a walk. Forewarned is forearmed- I always carried defensive gas and a pocket rescue knife- you never know what's about to happen, especially in a big city at night. I walked out of the apartment, locked the door (checked it of course), and put one of my earphones in. I went to my favorite spot- the Banpo Bridge. It was only 20 minutes walk from my apartment. When I finally got there I put the other earphone in, leaned against the railing, and closed my eyes. Music was my escape from reality (cliché, I know) thanks to which I could stop worrying about anything. I opened my eyes after a while and looked at the river. I liked this place because it was tempting... what would happen if I jump? Would anyone notice? "Not today," I told myself. It started to be cold so the rational decision was to go back. I, once again, took out one earphone and started walking towards home.


While I was halfway there I heard screams. It was coming from the parking lot behind a club. I turned off the music and sneaked closer and hid behind a black Mercedes. I saw two people- a man and a woman. He tried to put her in the car but she was stumbling and seemed almost unconscious. Suddenly, he started yelling.
"Get in you fucking slut". I thought that maybe she got drunk and that guy could handle his girlfriend, but when in a dim light I noticed tears on her face I immediately knew that something was wrong.

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I just wanna appologize for any mistakes (english is not my first language). I hope you'll like it, it's just getting started ;)

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