★𝐽𝑜𝐽𝑜'𝑠 𝐵𝑖𝑧𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑒 𝐴𝑑𝑣𝑒𝑛𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑒 𝑂𝑛𝑒𝑆ℎ𝑜𝑡𝑠★

Diego Brando/Scary Monsters x Reader

Request by: LastLifeWarri0r I have no clue how this is going to turn out. This is probably most definitely going to be a crackfic.

***Second Person POV***

You were sitting on the couch cause you were the fat sad, your now ex dumped your ass and instead dated a dinosaur, who later ate them, because it's a dinosaur. And dinosaurs don't have feelings, except hunger.
Your fat cheeks decided it would be a good idea to go for a walk, you stood up and went into your bathroom, checking in the mirror you saw just how many tear stains there actually were; you had been ugly crying for four hours straight so it's only understandable that there are tear stains. You slap some cold ass water onto your face as you tell yourself that you need to move on.
Walking to your room you open your closet and find the sexiest outfit you had....

Your sexy maid cat girl green M&M costume.

You could have anyone drooling just at the sight of it. You moan a little before undressing to put it on. You slide your legs into the costume. However, your fat ass wasn't able to get the costume on fully. Your bulging ass cheeks only tore through the fabric of the green M&M costume, you sighed and said fuck it and still wore it, even if your bulging ass cheeks were sticking out no one would notice..right?
Off you were, to clear your mind off of your ex by walking downtown, you were trying to sneak around the town so no one would strike up a conversation with you, but you are too dummy thicc and the clap of your bulging butt cheeks only alerted the entire town, and so did your costume. You ran away from everyone's staring, eventually ending up in a bar, slowly walking in you looked around, and it was packed as fuck, some people even got sucked into the black hole known as your asshole it was so packed. You decided to sit down at the bar counter, your ass cheeks barely being able to fit on the stool, the bartender came over and held back a hentai moan at the sight of your costume.
"What will it be?" He asked trying to take his eyes off of the sexy maid cat girl green M&M costume. He failed.

"I will take the strongest tequila you have." He only nods after another second of staring before going to grab your order. You sat there drawing circles on the counter. Some people came from behind you and asked where you got your costume, yet you didn't answer them, and just sucked them into your asshole. In moments time the bartender came back with your tequila, you looked up and smiled at him.
"Thank you," you say sipping the beverage.

"Yup you got it," he stays silent for a moment before asking: "What's your name? I'm Katon."

"I'm Y/N, pleased to meet you Katon," you place your hand over the counter for him to shake it, which he does, his large, calloused hand gripping yours firmly. You both smile at one another before letting go of the other's hand. Katon was a genuine man, and he actually told you a little about himself. He actually was born in Japan, and came here, seeking new opportunities, saying how he became a bartender to meet new people and hear more about the town. And even though there were other customers he had to serve, he always found an opening to chat with you.

The night continues, and you and Katon become closer. There was a nice moment of silence after a fit of laughter you two shared. He suddenly perks up, in which you react to by looking up from your drink.

"I keep forgetting to ask, what brought you here to the bar anyways?" He asked curiously. You nodded, knowing that he would question it at some point.

"Well, yesterday my now ex dumped me and instead dated a dinosaur." You said summing up your problems. Katon looked like his soul left his body, you let loose a chuckle before you both go into yet another laughing fit. But soon you're the only one laughing, you look around and notice that Katon is gone. You then feel that familiar clench of your asshole and realize you sucked him into your bum. His final wails were heard before your ass fully consumed him. You sobbed, realizing you just sucked your only friend into the hellhole known as your anal cavity. Your ass clenched in a painful way, your ass couldn't take anymore people, you knew you would be on the toilet for months. You have to call it a night, if anyone got close to you they would without a doubt be sucked into your anus. You stood up only for your ass to clench harder, causing a bit of blood to seep from your ass, but we all know that isn't your blood. You let out a cry of sorrow realizing your ass clenched so hard it squeezed the life out of Katon, meaning you couldn't shit him out later. He was dead.
You ran out of the bar quickly, attempting to shake the thought that you sucked a good person into your asshole, and clenched him dead with your fat fucking ass. Your cheeks continued to clap to the rhythm of your sprinting. You awoke the neighborhoods you sprinted through, the slap of your cheeks and the squelch from the blood only helping the sound get through the town. You soon began to be followed, you were too tired and couldn't do anything, you could only pray that they didn't come to close and get sucked into your ass as well as many others. You also prayed that there was still hope for Katon. You told him to hang on, and your asshole stretched just a little, he was somehow still alive. This encouraged you to start sprinting again.
After a fat ten minutes of running you arrived at your house, opening the door quickly, you walk inside and the only thing you can smell is the putrid smell of cat piss. You gagged knowing the answer of the stench. Your bitch ass of a cat Toaster Fork. This cat seriously had the brain of a fucking rock. And if you have a brain you know that means he doesn't have a brain, because rocks don't have brains. You sobbed to yourself as the criminal came over to you and only made matters worse by pissing on your crying ass, and not only that he also got sucked into your ass, in which caused your ass to explode and who you thought was Katon, came out, somehow alive and well. He had the ugliest blonde hair, it looked like Toaster Fork's piss, making you gag at the thought, he wore the dankest hat you think you had ever laid eyes upon. With the word 'DIO' on the top of it in gold letters. You gagged at this monster's taste in clothing. It was so ugly you didn't care if Katon was alive or not, you only cared about how he needed to change out of that crusty ass outfit immediately. He picked himself up off of the ground readjusting his ugly ass hat, before turning to glare at you.