Little Sunshine | ✓

C H A P T E R 23

[23]

A L A S K A

"You what!?" Leo bellowed angrily, while Max simultaneously yelled, "What the fuck, Al?"

I knew they wouldn't react all too well, and that I probably should've waited a bit longer but I just had to talk about it. The date two days ago was awesome. It was my first date and it couldn't have been any better. He made me feel so safe and comfortable, even though we didn't know each other that long yet. Which no one other than Leo and Max have been able to achieve before.

"Please chill your tits," I muttered, irritation lacing my voice.

"'Chill your tits'? Are you fucking kidding me? You went on a date with him and kissed him! You motherfucking kissed him!" Max exclaimed and threw his hands into the air.

"I will fucking kill him! Where is he?" Leo shouted and stomped towards the door of the empty classroom that I had shoved them into to tell them about the date.

"You won't! Please, I think I like him!" I blurted stupidly, feeling my heartbeat fasten.

Their actions ceased, as they went quiet and turned to look at me in shock and disbelief.

Do I? Do I really like him?

Yes.

Yes, I do. He makes me feel these things that I have never experienced before, and I don't want them to stop. I want to feel more of them. He was my first kiss, and I want a second one, and a third one. I want to explore this new found territory with him. I want to spend more time with him, to get to know him more.

Is that liking someone? If it is, then yeah. I absolutely do like him.

"Really? Like, really liking?" Leo asked hesitantly, sadness clouding his voice, although I wouldn't know why he'd be sad.

"Yeah. Yeah, I do," I whispered with the tiniest hint of a smile playing on my lips.

The next moment I was pulled into a bone crushing hug and the air was forced out of me. I clutched myself onto Max and ran my hand trough his hair as a silent tear rolled down my cheek. When we pulled apart, he cupped my face with a look of worry and gently wiped away the tear with his thumb.

"What's wrong?"

"I- I was just afraid of your reactions," I told him honestly.

And it was true. I was afraid. Afraid that they wouldn't allow me to date him; afraid that they would absolutely despise him. Of course I wasn't obligated to do what they say but it would hurt me to know they hated the guy I liked. It would hurt to not get their support for it.

"Al. What did you think? We would never abandon you or anything, ok?" he reassured with a smile and pinched my nose before he let go of me.

When I turned towards Leo he was looking spaced out so I called his name whereupon his head snapped towards me. He couldn't look me in the eyes as he raced out of the room and slammed the door shut.

My smile dropped and my heart clenched. That's exactly what I was afraid of. Them not accepting it. But why couldn't he even look me in the eye? What did I do? Is it really only the fact that I might like Xavier or is it something else?

"Don't worry. He's probably just shocked and needs some time to process it," Max said, smiling sadly at me, and then followed Leo.

Tears were threatening to fall and a lump formed in my throat. They won't leave me. They won't leave me. They would never ever leave me. I repeated in my head over and over but the anxiety kept growing in my chest. My vision got blurry and my breath became rapid as my legs gave in and I sunk to the floor clutching onto my chest for dear life.

I felt so stupid. I felt so stupid to get an anxiety attack over something like this but this fear inside of me was eating me alive. The fear of the most important people in my life leaving me once again. It was very hard to get my trust or my love after what I experienced. After the abuse I went through, by the person that was supposed to love me unconditionally, to protect me from the darkness and light up my mood when I was feeling down, and the abandonment from my family without a second thought or one hint of guilt in their eyes, made it almost impossible for me to trust anyone.

But Max and Leo never stopped or hesitated once. They kept going and kept trying to get me to laugh or smile.

I wouldn't be able to live without them. They're my everything. Without them, I wouldn't be here today. I wouldn't know how to smile or to laugh. I wouldn't know how to have fun.

I wouldn't know what it felt like to be loved.

Suddenly, a figure appeared in front of me but I could only make out shadows through my blurry vision. The person took my hand in theirs and pressed it to his chest, while he said something over and over again. At first, I panicked and didn't know what he was up to or what he was saying, but when I caught a glimpse of his words I slightly relaxed.

Matching. Try. Matching. Heartbeat.

I obliged, and focused on his heartbeat that I could feel through my palm on his chest in an attempt to calm my own heart down. And after four long deep breaths, I finally managed to calm down enough to see the person's face ...

And what I saw, shocked me ...
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Hey there, yeah yeah I know I'm cruel. Hehehe. Anyways, the next chap will be today or tomorrow. I don't know yet. But I don't have to go to school tomorrow since it's (a) holiday.

I don't know if you say 'a' holiday or just holiday, by the way. 🙈

Shame on me 😂

Anyways, who do you think is the myserious person who helped Al calm down?

Stay safe! Love y'all!
♡

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- L I S A