Life after High School

Welcoming Myself to College

It was June when we had our first day of school in college. I was wearing our uniform that looks like I am from another school which is Lyceum. To be honest, after all the months that have passed I am thinking of what course to take, I am still not prepared and ready to embark on a new chapter in my life in college. My uniform seems too large for me. It was very ill-fitting, and I couldn't move perfectly, plus the bag that I bought looks like I haven't moved on from high school yet. I saw my high school classmates there, Marilou and Jesus. Of course, they bullied me since they saw how big my bag was. They said that I haven't moved on from our high school years yet. What idea could I get from that? My siblings didn't take it. Oh, by the way, Jesus is my childhood friend. My mother told me that he would go to our house before asking me to go to church with him. I don't know if that's true. The only thing that I feel for him is something Platonic and nothing more. He courted a lot of women from high school, and that didn't make me feel jealous about it. Jesus then turned into someone I could rely on, up until now. He tried courting me when we were in college, but I don't think he was serious then. 

I was called by our cashier's office because surprisingly they said that I was not able to pay the tuition fee yet to them. I told them the whole thing that happened in the front line when I enrolled. Believe me! It made me feel so nervous. I thought I was scammed or something. I only saw Malou and Jesus with familiar faces there. Not including Gee-ann, who is also my childhood friend. Our friendship just vanished away as we were getting older. Before we hit the teenage years, Gee-ann and I had some childhood quarrels that were not resolved. Maybe that's the reason why she is ignoring me at that time. I don't know if she was shy or something. Then there's Marlon. We were seatmates in elementary days. I couldn't say a lot more than that. Marlon, is one of the top ten in elementary school and I know he is really intelligent. Malou and I were not really close during high school. She even listed me as one of the noisy students way back in elementary days. So, to cut it short, Malou and I have been sitting on the last part of the classroom, the subject then was Algebra. It was our first subject in college. Alleli, approached us. At first, I did not want to welcome her as one of my friends. I just don't feel like being engaged to her. We were three when we had our picture taken for our Identification Card, which we would be using for the whole stay in college. We introduced ourselves, and we were asked about our cellphone numbers. I didn't put mine in at the time. I just don't feel like giving mine. When Jesus saw that I had my phone, it was as if he was shocked that I had it. At the time, I was using Erickson phone that my sister got from his husband. I was hiding it because it was some sort of old model.

Coincidentally, our professor here was Erickson Relayson. An engineer from Mapua University. He looks like my childhood friend, Emong. That makes me want him. But he is not that approachable when it comes to me. I am not great at maths. I got 79 in the third grade of our school year in senior years, right? He even got my paper and gave me a sign that he would fail me because I am really not that good at his subject. It was the first time a professor has done that to me, so I couldn't forget the day he has done that to me. I felt ashamed of that part in my life. As if he knew that I have something romantic going on in my head with him.

The first day was so memorable then, I was lost because I didn't know where to eat. It was 12 in the afternoon, and I was alone because some of my classmates in high school, Jesus and Malou were having another class in their subjects. So, I decided to eat somewhere near. I couldn't recall how much I have spent eating kalderetang kambing for my lunch and what was the name of the carinderia where I ate my lunch. I was not really sure if it was really a cow or a dog. I just remember I ate somewhere along the road of Caloocan back then. I could only recall that the meat was not really that delicious to eat.

After I went back to the campus to attend the class, we introduced ourselves in front of our class with some of our subjects. To be honest, I really didn't recall how my day had ended up after my first day in college. All I know is that I am really a college student now. We met, Ate Julie. A transferee from AMA, the sister of Kathleen Limjuco. Kathleen seems to be that smart and intelligent, and she looks so rich and neat because she has a fair complexion like Kathleen, her sibling. They look like they have Chinese blood. But unlike Ate Julie, Kathleen was really not that approachable. Maybe because of the age gap. Then there's Candice and Smile. I could describe Smile as someone who looks like a snobbish girl but with a good heart, she looks like my grandmother, Auntie Nora. It's what I call her because she wanted to fool others that she was that young. Candice is someone that looks so naive. Mainly because of her baby face. They are a group of people that are good at Math, specifically Algebra. I was thinking if I didn't pass this subject, how could I pass the other math subject? Computer Science is composed of a lot of Maths. With closed eyes, I will try my best to continue my studies here since I am already here now.  

I got 7 subjects on that day. See how tiring my first days in college were. Our class started at around 7:30 in the morning then. I think I am going to go home by 8 in the evening. My first subject as I mentioned was Algebra, the other subjects were, Philippine Literature, by Ma'am Bonwel. Philippine History by Ma'am Corcega, P.E 1, I can't recall who our professor was on this subject, Data Structures, Communications Arts 1 and C++.  The moment we started studying the computer subject, I felt like I was an alien. I was thinking to myself. I know this course is not the right one for me because I was not interested in it at all. I want to be included as one of the tops in the class, I think my goal has been banished once again. I want to be part of the dean's lister. Oh, no! What am I going to do now? It seems like there are many students who are far better than me. But so to say, I was excellent at English. My professor of Communication Arts is Mrs Falculan, and I am one of her favourites from that class. I know I could do better in this subject. But, what about my math? What can I do if my professor in this subject hates me? I could never do anything about it because who am I going to ask for help to explain the numbers mixed with letters? I can only recall the logarithm class from Ma'am Tagura's is it is the exponent of the base. I even got the lowest score on our third grading in her subject. To be honest, that got me a little depressed, but I still moved on with my life. I was thinking that my professor from Algebra would consider me attending his class even though I was not really doing great with it.

Then came our subject in Philippine history. Ma'am Corccega was the next one to teach us today. She introduced herself to us and I found out that she was from the University of the Philippines. I was thinking, she has a high standard when it comes to her subject because she was a UP graduate, and I was not wrong about that.  I have set a high standard for myself, that much. I was not able to pre-empt that this would set me to a much deeper downfall later on. I knew from the start that Ms. Corcega didn't like me either. Maybe I appear like just an average student for her, unlike my other classmates. Who is Ate Julie and the gang. I was able to learn more about the basics of the computer with our Data Structure. Oh, wow! I am doing great on this subject on our first day of school. Modesty aside, I did not really have zero knowledge when it came to computers because I have enrolled myself before with those volunteers in our elementary days before, but I didn't pursue finishing it when they have discussed Boolean Algebra. We were paying fifty pesos in every class to attend this computer subject. See? I was not fantastic at Algebra. What do I know about it? If not only for my mom, I would not really pursue Computer Science. Mainly because I am not perfect at Math and I never knew that it is much more complicated than I thought it would be when we had our class in C++. I already know that Math would be the basic of this course, but I still pursue it, thinking that I could still survive Computer Science even though I was not good at it. I never knew that there existed other languages like Spanish and Italian. If only we had those, I would rather attend those classes than the computer languages they are teaching us.

I felt that I was alien learning the computer language. What do I know from stdio#include? I barely knew all of this thing in my mind but still kept on listening to my professor back then. Thinking that I could grasp it even just a little. I felt like a total idiot on this subject again. This is much worse than Algebra. How come those students I have been with could go with it and not me? Even if I study hard and teach myself those languages they are teaching at a school, I still couldn't get it. But I guess I need someone who would help me with it. Someone who understands the subject far better than me. But I couldn't find that person since I am still new here on this campus. Other than that, I don't have my own computer at that time to learn more about it. I could afford an expensive book but without application I couldn't learn much about it on my own. A lot of things have been done on the first day of school. I met a lot of people, and one of the people I knew from the first day of school was Alhson. He became friends with Jesus, and he was introduced to me by Jesus. He seemed like a cool and humorous guy to be with. I wasn't wrong about how I knew him. He was so jolly, he was one of the reasons why my life at STI has become so memorable. The school was so small that it needed another building to occupy a lot of students. We have an extension campus that is so tiring to walk through because it was miles away from the main campus. That's where we take our major subjects.