This is me!

Ughh...Feelings.

Uploading again...what?!?!? I'm amazing right. Haha! I actually like this stort, and I'm doing this story for awareness of schitzophrania. My cousin has it and I've to deal with it since I was like 8, I'm 15 now. I am always here if someone ever needs help. TRIGGER WARNING, PLEASE DONT READ IF SCHITZOPHRANIC AND NOT ON MEDICINE OR IF YOU CUT AND PRONED TO DOING WHEN MENTIONED. In this story she has cuts on her right arm, fresh ones. I have scars so please don't worry about me. Lol. Vote and comment! Thanks again.
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I grabbed my phone and head to the bathroom getting my secret blade from my cabinets. I lock the door and look at myself in the morning. The voices are trying again. They appeared last night while Angelina was asleep I saw them again and they told me the same thing they always do. They tell me I'm worthless and disappointing, that I'm a whore and any other degrading names you could possibly think of. I feel the blade go over the same 5 cuts I've been doing for the past three years. I snuck blades in the psych ward and did it in the bathroom. I knew my ways and I needs my release somehow.

I have fallen in this depression ever since my ex Brittany left me, she took my kid and my life with no memory behind. Even though she abused me I love Jason (the son) more than anything, I would have taken a bullet for that kid. I love him so much.

I felt the tear sting my eyes as I felt the blade sink into my arm. The tear was not because of physical pain, I've become numb to that, it was the mental pain that I felt. The doctors told me I had experienced something horrific that it triggered the wrong side of my brain and caused me to have the mental illness, schitzophrania.

I look at my phone and unlock it reading the text I got from my friends. I got three from Alex and two from Lindsay. Hi reid Alex's cause I always intrigued with what she has to say.
A: Good morning, wyd?
A: Hello, are you okay?? Did you get drunk again Lauren?!?
A: Please, answer me. Let me know you're okay and just sleeping in late. You didn't have an episode, did you???
ME: Sorry, I'm fine I promise. I got drunk and met someone, for some reason I haven't kicked her out and we had a good morning and she made me laugh. That's the first, haha, and please for me never bring those up I know I worried you but please make sure that's the last resort.

I then read Lindsay's texts.
L: Herro, wake the f*ck up, we have plans tonight! Remember??
L: Also, I'm coming over around six and we're going out around eight, so if you have anyone over, kick em' out. Haha!! Who am I kidding, we all know you don't have someone over. Love you!!! XD

I clean up and start walking to my bedroom door looking at the time it read 2:30 p.m. And then I get a text from Alex.
A: Well, Lindsay told me we're going out, so you might want to kick her out about 5 or you could invite her. I would love to meet the one person who can turn out permanent frown upside down. Haha! I'm going to start getting ready for tonight. Love you!
K: Okay, I'll see you between 5:30 and 6. Love you babe! XD

I giggled a little and immediately got mad at myself. ' you are not 15 years old, you don't giggle so just stop. This girl is already breaking your walls down and you don't even know her middle name.' I made it to the kitchen and saw her eating waffles and she was just reading the newspaper. The way she bit her lip and furrowed her eyebrow at the story about the dog that says the bird with a broken wing get out of a small well. She had her fingertips lining the ends of her glasses.

I let the door slowly close behind me and I walk up behind rlher and pulled her to her feet, pull the paper out of her hands and slowly taking her glasses off staring into her eyes, something I've never done with someone else before. It made me think how much I could really be missing an opportunity if I let her go. We slowly make our way to the living room and I lay her down on the couch and I have hover over her and move a couple hairs from her face. I don't think I ever want to let her go. I let my guards down.

" I haven't said this to anybody in a very long time but you are absolutely, breathtakingly, nerve tingling beautiful and I like you a lot. I don't know if its seeing you in my clothes, the way you can make me laugh and feel things I haven't felt for a long time, or whatever but I really don't want to lose this moment, the bad part is I barely know you." I said in a very soft and raspy voice and she grabbed my shirt and pulled me into her. I felt every inch of my body tingle from the touch of her fingertips roaming across my neck and my back and the contact of her lips against mine. It was almost like a dream.

This kept going I guess for hours cause we came back from our own infinity when I heard my friend Alex singing Amnesia by: 5SOS *BTW i love that band so much!* She stops right when she arrived to where we were at and we look up staring at her. Her mouth was just wide open so I decided to make a joke.
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And I'm gonna stop there cause its 2:39 a.m. where I'm at so night peeps. Keep smiling and stay strong! Vote and comment and share with all your friends. Thanks lovelies. ^_^