Ḧäẗë L̈öv̈ë ᳞Ÿëön̈B̈ïn ̈ ᳞ ✔

᳞5 ᳞

8 years ago...

Soobin's POV:

-soobin:"hyung you're here?!"

I asked,after making sure to knock down on my big brother's bedroom door

-jungkook:"come on in binnie"

Answered back fast as I went in,where I saw him laying down his bed,using his,but soon as I walked in,sat himself up

-soobin:"so!"
-jungkook:"so as in I want to talk about yeonjun?"
-soobin:"...how did you- never mind,..i-i took my decision today"
-jungkook:"which is?"
-soobin:"I'll come out to yeonjun,about my sexuality and my feelings for him "
-jungkook:"finally you've got some balls to make what's right "
-soobin:"hyung please,leave your sassy personality a side, plus I'm still young for words like those"
-jungkook:"okay I'm sorry baby,do it,and tell your lover whatever you have to say"
-soobin:"I think its the right option too"
-jungkook: "and no matter what happens, remembere,we're here for you, always keep it in mind"
-soobin:"thank you hyung,you're the best"
-jungkook:"you're welcome honey,now go and get your man!"

Doing as hyung told me,running out that house of ours

-soobin:"mom I'm out!"

Shooting that without even waiting for an answer of my mom,as I made my way over yeonjun's house

-soobin:"yeonjun?! "

I called out,moment I opened that door ,only to be surprised by his own mother

-"hi binnie,he's over that garden,where you always go"
-soobin:"oh thank you ma'am "
-"sure honey"

Next destination was,a garden where me and yeonjun always spend time there,its behind few houses from our neighborhood

Making my way over there,each step feels like its getting longer and longer

I'm about to make the most important step in my whole life,yet I have no idea how its gonna end

I,somehow,know he's gonna be fine with it,he's gonna accept it,accept me

That voice inside of me is telling me,everything is gonna be alright
Yet I can't help it ,but feel afraid and scared of that feeling hunting my heart

It's like a bad feeling but never mind, now,its now or never

-yeonjun:"oh binnie!"

Hearing a voice call out,bringing me all way to reality as I finally reached my destination

-soobin:"hi hyung"
-yeonjun:"are you okay? You seems off"
-soobin:"no no I'm fine don't worry"
-yeonjun: "if you say so,anything exciting for today?"
-soobin:"nothing much,hyung I want to tell you something "
-yeonjun:"sure I'm listening "
-soobin:"yeonjun,...I like boys"
-yeonjun:"you like boys? How?"
-soobin:"as in I like to be with a boy,I want a boyfriend,I want to date and fall in love with boy,instead of a girl or finding a girlfriend "
-yeonjun:"...what?"
-soobin:"wait there is more"
-yeonjun:"stop"
-soobin:"i- what?"
-yeonjun:"...you're disgusting, I don't want to see your face again"

That's all what it took both me and him

Few words were enough to break me down,few words were enough to shatter my heart,yeonjun words were enough...to make me sad

For the very first time,moment we became friends, yeonjun turned his back for me

For the very first time, yeonjun gave me the most disgusted look ever

For the very first time, yeonjun left me behind,with nothing but eyes full of tears and a half dead half alive body

I wasn't excepting this,at all

Yeonjun's POV:

Moment soobin confessed  about what he truly like,about his orientation, numerous of things made presence inside my head

What if he'll like someone else? What if he'll love someone else? What if he'll spend rest of his life with someone else who's not me?

What about me? My feelings for him?my love for him?

Everything seemed to narrow, got small around me,if felt like I had no time to think nor access, that's why...I said that...ego made presence in that situation

........

Soobin's POV:

Walking back home again,feeling my chest hurt due what I've heard from yeonjun

I couldn't help but cry hard,so hard,which was enough to attracte few eyes over my direction

-jungkook:"how things went with- oh my god soobin are you okay?"

Screamed my brother moment I stepped inside that house

-"honey what happened? You had a fight outside? "
-soobin:"n-no,its y-yeonjun,h-he said i-im disgusting"

I said in between my sobs

-"honey I'm so sorry to hear that"
-jungkook:"that asshole,leave it for me"
-soobin:"n-no hyung please,i-i-ll talk to him now"
-"honey,I think its better if you leave it for tomorrow "
-soobin:"y-you think mom?"
-"yes, believe me"

Doing as mY mother told me,she's always right when it comes to those kind of things

Making my way over that bedroom of mine, not in the mood to eat,talk or anything else, it was just about me,my pillow, endless tears and silent sobs

Next morning...

-soobin:" mom I'll be over yeonjun"

Announcing that to my mother,after I made sure to dress up and ready to have a little talk with yeonjun about last night

-"soobin honey.. "
-soobin:"I'm fine mom don't worry"
-"...they left "

Said mom,yet it was enough to make me froze over my place

-soobin:"...w-what?"
-"I'm sorry honey "
-soobin:"how? Where? When?"
-"they left to USA, that's all what I know,I'm sorry"

Another reason that made my heart break...even worst

-soobin:"... I didn't even say goodbye..."

I didn't even got the chance so say...I love you...