Bella is...(Book One)

Chapter 9

Issabella

I arrived at the library shortly after leaving the dining hall. When I reached my chair I pulled out one of my spell books and began to study.

After some time passed, I heard the library door open. I was instantly on alert. As the footsteps came closer to me, I recognized the scent, it was Thomas.

'Adrian wants you at the field near the border at 7pm' he spat with disgust when he reached me.

I nodded my acknowledgment and bowed by head.

He huffed, turned on his heels and left without another word. I looked at up at his retreating back. Though my face holds no expression, my insides are twisting with dread.

Suddenly my mind went to what I witnessed earlier in my room. The blood, the pictures of torn limbs and organs from people whose faces are contorted in agony.

They wanted me to remember that night, they wanted it at the forefront of my thoughts. Then it dawned on me.

They want to punish me.

'Ezra I need you to promise me something'

'Anything, Issa'

'Tonight no matter what they do, you cannot help me'

'Issa, you can't expect that of me' she insisted.

'Ezra, I'm begging you, please don't. You know I can take the pain, we cannot let them find out about you'

'Fine, I will not interfere unless absolutely necessary' she reluctantly stated.

I stayed quiet, knowing that she will not concede to my wish any further.

I've been taking the pack's abuse for years, throughout that time, I have never allowed Ezra feel the pain inflicted upon me or to help me heal. Since the pack hates me and blames me, why would I allow her to feel pain not meant for her?

As for healing, she knows I would only allow her to heal me if the damage inflicted puts me in mortal danger.

With normal wolves, the human and their wolf share a bond which allows them to share physical and if the bond between the wolf and human is strong enough, emotional pain, in order to ensure self preservation.

Ezra and I are different. I am able block that bond so Ezra cannot feel the pain herself. However, Ezra is able to sense my pain, but due to the block, which
I always keep firmly in place, she never truly knows the pain I endure, even when she takes over our human form, she is unable to feel the pain.

Healing is different with normal wolves as well.

Before gaining their wolf at the age of 18, the human half has accelerated healing, but not to the heightened degree as wolves with the presence of their wolf.

The bond that allows the human to phase into their wolf form, is the bond that grants the human their wolf's healing abilities.

Normal wolves cannot block this bond but I can. Ezra can push through if the block is weakened or if she tries hard enough or uses enough energy. However, it has never gotten to that. She respects my decisions, albeit begrudgingly, and never tried to push against the blocks.

Staring sightlessly at the book in front of me, my thoughts wandered to tonight. I am not sure what Adrian has in store for me, but deep within myself was the knowledge that when his plan is fulfilled, I will never be the same.

That scared me.

What will you do when you find out we are mates Adrian? Will you regret what you and the others have done? Will you finally accept me?

Will you reject me?

My heart breaks at the thought of his rejection.

I have loved you for years, Adrian. I only want a chance. A chance for you to get to know me, to see beyond what you think you know about me. Maybe after seeing, I will gain your love in return.

Unfortunately for me however, the same part of me that knows that I will be forever changed after Adrian's plan is fulfilled, is the same part of me that feels that Adrian will not accept me.

I hope with everything I have that that part of me is wrong, because if it isn't, I don't know what will become of me.

What do you have planned for me Adrian? Will you finally break me? Will you allow them to finally taint my core? Will you join them?

'Don't go any deeper down that hole, Issa. He will accept us' Ezra stated lacking the conviction she previously had.

I know she knew it too. She knew I was right. Adrian's plans for me tonight will be painful. And after recognizing us as his mate, he will likely reject us.

But one of us had to remain hopeful.

Ezra and I fell into silence. Both of us sensing the impending danger, yet unable to change the outcome.

'Issa, why don't you go eat and rest for a while. Even if you don't sleep, you'll need all the energy you can get' Ezra said, her voice laced with concern.

I nodded and put my book away.

'Ezra, can you take over? I don't want to do anything right now, do what you must, I'll take over when we get to our room'

'Can you handle being in there, Issa?' She asked after I felt her take control.

'Honestly, I'm not sure' I replied.

'Then why don't I stay in control until we have to go to the field?' Ezra suggested.

'That's fine, thank you Ezra' I stated and retreated into myself, no longer seeing the outside world.

'Anytime Issa, try to relax until then'

I mumbled a response and allowed myself to get lost in my thoughts of tonight.

What will you do, Adrian? What will you do to me?