Pretty Boy Pleasure

Chapter 4: NIKOLAI

CHAPTER 4

NIKOLAI'S P.O.V

There were a lot of things I remembered about Ian. Dating Ian had felt like a dream for years and I clung to knowledge of him like a cherished keepsake, something to remind me that it really had happened. I took inventory of these memories occasionally, remembering the way his hair stuck up in the morning or how he pretended to know how to eat with chopsticks even as you actively watched him fail to do it. What I remembered most often, however, was how absolutely insatiable he was.

He wasn't a sex addict like the press loved to accuse. He was fully in control of his behaviors and was capable of self control. He just preferred not to control it. Dating him was an unending sexual marathon. We were engaged in some kind of sexual act everyday, often multiple times a day and when it wasn't rough enough for him... well Ian had a way to get what he wanted. Usually that meant pissing me off until my only two options were to knock him out or choke him during sex. We both preferred the latter.

I don't know if Ian had attempted to get a rise out of me when I jerked him off against a tree last night, but regardless he had gotten one.

What had I done?

The rational part of my brain had seemed to switch off during that conversation, frustrated with Ian's utter refusal of my company all day. I suppose some part of me assumed Ian would push me away when I touched him, but he hadn't. He had leaned into it exactly how he used to and I was left wondering what that meant.

Did he love me? Most likely not. Ian was extremely affectionate and possessive when we dated and had a girl hit on me like Alina had last night, he'd have made short work of putting her in her place. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to even bat an eye.

So then what was it? Lust most likely. Ian and I did lust well. Still... had it been lust for me or for that Adriel guy? He was exactly Ian's type, right down to the guys apparent desire to eye fuck Ian right in front of everyone. Had I not stepped in, I highly doubted Ian's ability not to follow the guy back to his room.

I sat up in bed, rolling my sore neck. It wasn't my first time watching Ian openly lust after others. Hell, he even did it when we dated. It didn't bother me much as the lust was always directed at me soon after and I, the chosen one, would get to act on it. Now, however, with Ian's disdain for me at an all time high, I found a lump forming in my throat. I didn't want to see it. Jealousy was a new feeling for me and it was slowly eating my brain alive.

Hence, why I had propositioned Ian to be... what? Sex friends? No, even worse. I was a glorified sex toy. I groaned, dropping my head into my hands.

The bed shifted beside me, a familiar wild head of hair poking out from under the blanket. "Shut up, Nik. I'm sleepy." Ian mumbled, dropping his head back against the pillow.

Fuck.

Last night had been a blur of clothing and body parts, desperately clinging together. I could still hear his moans in my head, the memories I had not doing him nearly enough justice. "Stop looking at me." Ian whined, his eyes still clenched shut.

"How would you know I'm looking at you?" I sighed, resisting the urge to reach toward him and try to smooth his hair down.

"Same way I can tell you're looking even with your shades on." he grumbled, finally opening his eyes and locking gazes with me. "I can feel it." Memories of our previous night together flooded my mind, making me smile. "Ugh so creepy." Ian scoffed, turning his back to me.

Ian was mean. He always had been. I found it unbelievably sexy. I resisted the urge to lay back down and wrap him in my arms. I was pretty sure how that would play out and let's just say I wanted to keep both my arms. Still, the sight of Ian naked in a bed we shared together was its own reward. "Ian?" I finally spoke, resigned to the fact I couldn't bask in this moment forever.