Orange Juice (Dreamnotfound fanfic)

Alone

"How long has your husband been bulimic?"

"I...don't know."

"You were unaware of his condition?"

"...yeah"

Dream liked to consider himself a rational, calm person.

When fans would overstep boundaries, put him in uncomfortable situations on streams, Dream was always able to just shrug it off. He didn't really care, after all; they're all strangers with no real hand in his life.

Even with his friends, though he could get irritated at their teasing or a joke could be pushed a bit too far, he could easily laugh it off.

But with George, things were always different.

He remembered the first year they had met. To be honest, Dream recalled being annoyed by George. His high pitched voice, constant swearing, refusal to help Dream with any of his coding requests. They were both kids at the time.

"I'm Dream,"

The kid snorted, microphone buzzing over the call. "Dream? Your parents named you that?"

"No, no--It's my game name, moron." Dream rolled his eyes. Who was this idiot?

"Then what's your real name?" the kid asked. God, his voice was so high pitched.

"Clay,"

The kid practically bursted out laughing, "Clay? What kind of name is that? You're a minecraft block."

"Atleast I'm not british, and-" Dream's eyes drifted towards the other kid's teamspeak username, GeorgeeeHD, "Your name is George?"

"Uh, yeah,"

"Well then atleast my name is unique,"

George pouted. "Heyyy-"

But the more they had talked, the more Dream found George...endearing. George's high pitched screams at the stupidest situations, his competitiveness, his gentle and sometimes ear shattering laughs...

It was about three years into their friendship that Dream realized he was deeply in love with George.

And it was soul crushing.

It had become painfully apparent how 'no homo' of a person George was. Dream would make the subtlest of jokes to test the waters of their friendship, vaguely hinting at some kind of further relationship between them...but George would always distance himself.

Dream could see the subtle cringes, the awkwardness, the shying away.

Before Dream knew it, at some point, he just stopped trying.

So he got a girlfriend. He truly tried moving on. He thought he was doing quite well, to be honest. Arguments told otherwise.

"You're always online, Clay," Sam whispered, "Nothing wrong with that, but christ, it feels like you're in a relationship with your computer friends."

Dream exhaled, unconsciously beginning to pick at the skin around his nails. Frustrated. Tired. "Sam, please. You just don't understand. I want to do YouTube as a career. I literally have to be at my computer."

"I thought you were giving up on that! You know how fucking rare it is to make it on youtube? You quit your job at Apple for gods sake!" she bitterly mumbled. "And you're just talking with your damn friends all the time. How am I supposed to feel okay about that when you're bisexual?"

"I help code plugins for them, Sam! And Youtube can be a career, you know? I know I can do it." he pleaded his case.

Sam tilted her head back, sighing. "...I know. I'm sorry. But how am I supposed to feel okay when you can be attracted to anyone you speak to?"