{jj's POV}
She ran out on me. I couldn't stop her. I didn't want to stop her. I should have just said nothing. I hate that I brought it up. Why did I push her? I didn't have to get an answer. I never will. I bet she hates me. Why did I have to be so stupid? I sat on the bed with my head hurried in my hands. I felt my cheeks burning, a lump in my throat. My eyes filling up.
I got up and walked towards the door. I opened it stood on the porch and screamed. It turned into a muffled sob. I felt an ache growing in my chest, where my heart is. My whole body shaking. I felt my heart break with every sob. I kept replaying the moment, the look on her face. The hurt. The pain. The pain I felt to see her like that. I couldn't take it. I just collapsed onto the porch. My hands covering my face. A memory of John b flicked in my head. When we got into a fight and I ran off. Then that flashed in my mind. When I left. I remember kie's face. Full of anger and sadness. I couldn't find the words to say to any of them so I left, they stood there watching me leave.
Her words keep repeating in my head on a loop. It won't stop. I can't let her hate me. I don't want her to hate me. I love her. I love her. I LOVE KIE. I actually LOVE her. I need to find her. I suddenly had a voice in my head saying get up. It was her voice. I need to find her and tell her. Right now.
I got up off the porch, wiping my eyes which were still streaming. I needed to know how she feels or at least just tell her how I feel. I have to tell her how I feel. I don't know what I'd do if I lost her. I can't remember a time where she wasn't there to help me get through something. Like the night in the hot-tub. She helped me. She made me realise I was worth living. I realised I loved her. In that moment, when she pulled me in to hug me. Her arms around me, sobbing into her.
She held me.
I felt safe.
I felt love.
I knew. I loved her.
I always knew.So this was kinda a vent chapter. Except the ending. I hope you all like this chapter. :)
YOU ARE READING
Tell me we weren't just friends
JugendliteraturJJ has always had feelings for Kie. He never truly realised he liked her until he saw her kiss Pope. That was the least of their problems though. With John b and Sarah now missing, presumed dead, the pogues lives are now very different. There are un...