Disturbing the Peace

Chapter 22

My last chapter got so much support. 16 reads! That's incredible! Sorry I freaked out a bit there but I was afraid people had just given up on me. I love writing this book probably more than any other of my posted books on Wattpad! I love you all so much! Let's see if we can take this book from 590 reads to 600 reads!

Stay gold!

~cmfsif

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Darkness.

That's all there is.

Darkness.

My consciousness was just recently regained, except I still can't move. I can't see a damn thing either.

Darkness.

Spots of light begin appearing in front of me. "Am I dead?" I ask. I'm not sure what the ideal answer to this question is for me. Ten minutes ago, all I wanted was death. Now, I'm not sure. Parts of me were hoping for both ways.

"No, hun, you're in good hands," the woman says.

And now, I know what I wanted the answer to be. I want to be alive. I need to show Leo that life is full of pain but out of that people gain strength.

Relief sweeps over my whole body, and for the first time in what must have been a little while, I can feel and move every single one of my limbs. My vision clears as I waggle my fingers, finding each one okay. I sit up and realize that there are two tubes pumping oxygen up my nostrils. I smile, realizing I could have not awoken to this relief.

"You fought," the woman cheers softly, placing her hand on my knee.

I find myself quite curious as to how she knew what to do with a patient committing suicide by simply not breathing. "Is this a procedure you learn for if a patient is committing suicide?" I ask.

"No...these tubes pumping oxygen into you are usually used for some different things, like smokers and people have certain disorders and diseases."

"H-how did you know?" I ask. "It doesn't look like you just thought of this on the spot."

"My younger sister," her eyes gloss over at a memory, "she tried the same thing. I knew I had to figure out a way to force oxygen into her. Sometimes, it takes the death of one to learn how to save others."

"I am so sorry," I respond, feeling bad for even bringing it up.

"Hun, do not be sorry for me. You just went through it. You lived a near death," she reminds. "Don't you dare feel bad for me."

But, of course, that does not stop me from feeling really bad for this nurse. Then I realize, this nurse could have been my friends. I could have been the idiot to leave my friends behind. I take them for granted. Most people never get such amazing, understanding friends. If they would just stop smoking...

"Thank you," I say softly. "Thank you for saving me. I'm really lucky that you were my doctor. I didn't realize that I still have some things to live for."

I may be just a kid, but that will never change who I am. I am Willow Anderson, and I have always told myself that I will not leave this world until I am the voice of the voiceless. And now I know, the voiceless are more than just the trees and the animals.

I have a new purpose to add to my list.

I will be the voice of all of the voiceless.

No matter who or what they are.

"It's my job," she responds. "Now, hun, this hospital works closely with many therapists and support groups. We think it would be best for you if you got a therapist, then slowly worked your way into a support group. So does your family."

"Trust me, my family doesn't give a damn. But I do have some pretty great friends that you probably spoke to," I respond.

As if on cue, Ashlee, Hayden, and Rain walk into the sterile room.

"I'm sorry." It's an instant response to what i've done. I don't even have to tell myself to say it; the words slip out so naturally.

"Willow!" Rain throws herself at me, draping her body across mine. Rain's over-emotional personality is really shining through, but I don't mind.

"I'm sorry I ever did that to you. I should not have brought you into my problems," I apologize, knowing that it's not enough after what I did. "I should have ben strong but I lost it for a moment. I am so so so sorry!" My head is shaking as I hug her. What did I do? When everybody needed me to stay the strongest was when I broke down the most?

I should tell her now to stop smoking. I can do it.

Except, I can't. The words refuse to leave my lips. I am still too scared after what happened last time. I can't have her hate me, while the risk for me to begin hating myself again is so high. No, i need to keep all my friends on my side.

"We are going to get you a therapist," Hayden informs me. "Everything is going to be okay."

"A therapist?" I repeat. "No, I'm fine. I do not need a therapist!"

"Honey," Ashlee begins, "your life is more complicated than any other person I know's. I think it is best if you have somebody to help you cope."

Rain sobs next to me. "You need help, Will. You need help!"

Is that how everybody thinks of me? The girl who needs help?