The following trail

The diagnoses

Set in my ways, I struggle with post traumatic stress disorder, but don't you dare ask how or why. If I slightly hint at things that make me human, run with it. I don't fear the past, but I carry it like a book. It's a novel of lessons learned. The table of contents I demand holds simplicity because that's what I crave and never receive. I shake and tremble when reminded of things I can't fix, and unfortunately remember. Scarcely reminded with triggers of scents, sounds, and familiar places.
You won't see it because its a hidden side to me, when I have my attacks, I hold strong for those around me. It is an escape from reality but not into a safe haven, but into shades of black. You can speak to me, and I can't comprehend what you are saying. Often misconceived as rude, empty minded, and oblivious to reality. I promise you that I care to hear what you say, I want to register it the same.
One of my joys was taken from me because now I can't return without the resentment I have towards myself for not speaking up. It isn't just one thing, two things, three things, or four. It's a number of wrong place at the wrong times. I no longer surrender to those who want control of me. No one has any power over me. I hold myself superior and will always protect myself. Call me heartless, but I don't give a shit.
I am in charge of my life, nothing you say or do will affect it.