As we grow older out of our naive state and into a more mature and grown up manner we learn that feelings and emotions play a big and important part in our life. Whether it's in day to day tasks or forming relationships with family, friends and lovers.
But here's the question? Do we believe we truly want to be loved? Or do we like the idea of love? Perhaps we want to be lusted? Wanted?. Do any of us truly have a descripton of what love really is? Is love really lust? Or a sense of self worth and the feeling of being wanted? The thing is, I truly can't answer this question.
As I grew up, I saw people entering relationships, it didn't bother me until I became an older teenager. I hated the feeling of being alone, the sense of not being wanted. For a few years I can never say any of my relationships were loving, but perhaps more lust. The genuine feelings of being wanted, and being seen as attractive, I can not say I was ever complimented on my personality purely on how I looked. So my perception of love and lust is confusing, I've always been a lust never a love until I met someone who I thought I could see myself spending my future with.
I was never a child who dreamed of getting married or having children or settling down, I'm not sure why but it has never really excited me. I never wrote and drew about my dream marriage or how many children I wanted, I just thought if it happened, it happened.
My perceptions and thoughts changed when i met this person, I truly believed he would make an honest woman of me, if only I knew what the future held.
