Repeating Apologies

1.

Stanford University Medical Center

Stanford, California

June 2010

Caity

Just one more month and I would have my nursing degree. I had been attending nursing school right after high school, and after a lot of effort I would finally be done. The cardiology ward I was working as an intern had already offered me a job and I couldn't be more ecstatic. I loved nursing, and I loved working at the hospital and particularly at Cardiology.

'Cait, have you given mister Johnson his diuretics yet?,' my supervisor Amanda asked me. I nodded and turned around to look away from my computer.

'Yeah, I have.'

'Good. Do you have time to admit the new patient we just got in?'

'What new patient?,' I asked, while frowning and staring back at my screen.

'A fresh surgery. Guy's been operated two days ago. Got an aortic prosthetic and a new valve because his aortic stem was dilated.'

'Oh, right.' I scribbled some things down on my paper and then looked up to Amanda again, grabbing the report file she was holding out to me. I opened them and scanned the information about the new patient. 'Oh wow, he's quite young,' I said surprised looking at his birthdate. Just two years older than I am...

'Yeah, he is. But the ICU-nurse told me he has a disease that caused his dilation. Anyway, you go work out his files and search some background info about his condition, I think it might be interesting for you.' Amanda smiled and walked off, and I sighed, looking through the papers and opening Google.

When I had read all about a condition called Marfan Syndrome and had made up a new dossier about the patient, I got up to introduce myself to him. I walked up to his room and knocked on the door, peeking around the corner to find him with his eyes closed and his face a bit frowned.

'Eh... Mr. Carlile?,' I hesitantly asked. He opened one eye and shook his head. 'Are you okay?'

'I don't know,' he answered in a raspy voice.

'What's the matter?'

'I'm in so much pain...' I looked at him, trying to estimate if he really was in pain or was acting like it so he could get some oxycodone. Young people were known for sometimes faking their pain to get some pain medication.

But when he tried to inhale deeply and grunted, putting his hand on the fresh pink cut on his tattooed chest, I knew he wasn't faking it. Thorax wounds after surgery could be very painful, because the sternum had been cut in half to be able to open the chest cavity and reach the heart.

'Can you please... please get me something for the pain?,' he muttered while he covered his eyes with his hands.

'Sure, stay here. I'll be back,' I answered him, turning around to leave the room.

'Oh, I'm not going anywhere,' he grumbled. I chuckled softly and left the room, looking in the computer for what painkiller I was allowed to administer to him. I found the prescription for oxycodone, took one pill and checked it with Amanda before heading back to his room.

'I got you an oxycodone,' I said, grabbing a glass of water and putting the pill and the water in front of him. He opened his eyes again and looked at me in thankful relief, grabbing the pill and swallowing it with water. I stared back into his dark brown eyes, which seemed to be endlessly deep.

'Are you the nurse who's gonna take care of me?,' he then asked.

'Eh... Yeah. I'm sorry. Hi, I am Caity,' I said with slightly pink cheeks because of dazing off a bit. I stuck out my hand to him and he took it.