These Icy Chains

November 19

Mark huffs as he sets up his tripod in front of his bed. His mind was racing with thoughts of fear—anxiety of the outcome of his decision to film.

To tell his fans what was going on and why he hadn't uploaded for four days...

He felt the guilt. He also felt the depression all of these emotions were creating on his shoulders. It's as if the event happened just yesterday, but in fact it was just four nights ago.

His shoulders drop as he hears his sister, Mei, singing from the living room downstairs. She was singing her favourite song, although, he wasn't even sure if she remembered that it was her favorite song.

His expression wavered as he remembered those nights when they'd go on small road trips just to get chicken and dumplings at the cracker barrel or even those days when they couldn't find that one particular thing at their local stores and they had to hit the highways.

And those days when she'd smile at him while they filmed sketches.

His heart suddenly begins to clench as he continues to listen to Mei's voice. And tears were forming.

But he remembers that he has to film this video, so he sighs and wipes his eyes before hitting the record button and sits himself on his bed.

"Hey...everyone. I first off want to say sorry for no uploads. I uh...there's been an accident and...I needed time to just cool off. Now, I'm not saying I'm okay now, but neither am I doing bad. Uhm...you all know my sister, or those of you who are new, my sister is...one of the most beautiful things—I have ever seen in this world. She has the prettiest smile, is a talented artist, can play the piano, can sing like a siren, has been one of the most helpful people to me and my career and is ultimately...the reason why I am able to keep going...and...and so many-many other things...but...the doctors said she's got amnesia. At first she couldn't remember her name, but she's regained her own memory of who she is...? And she knows that I'm her brother, but she can't remember...a lot. We still don't know exactly how much she doesn't remember...we...we don't know how long it's going to take. I just ask that...you give me some time to figure things out. I promise I'll be back I just...I don't really know what to do right now and I feel like to keep going on to my regular schedule and ignore what's going on....I feel like that would be a huge disservice to you guys and I don't want you guys to have half of my attention. I want you to have all of me when I'm working. So I'll be off of social media for a bit. I hope you guys understand. I'll be back."

Mark presses the record button again before uploading it to his channel. He plops on his back on his soft bed and sighs.

He couldn't stop tears from coming out, so he let them fall.

"It's my fault."

He stayed that way for about who knows how long. But he forced himself out of his bed, turned off notifications to his social media, and left to check on his sister.

He stops in front of the living room to catch his sister drawing in her sketch book.

Suddenly she looks at him and smiles.

"I remember being able to draw. I'm not sure if it's really good though..." She looks to the side and rubs the back of her neck.

With a smile, Mark replies "It's awesome."

"Uhm...I'm kinda wondering who all these people are in my contacts. I mean--I know who they are, but who are they to me? Also there's someone named Nate who's asking if I'm alright and if he can come over?"

Mark sits down next to her on the fluffy carpet and takes hold of her phone.

"Oh, well... Markimoo is me, Amy is my girlfriend, Mr. MatPat is one of your teachers and a friend of mine--

As Mark continued on. Watching his sister look up at him sometimes with confusion hurt him, but sometimes she'd have a face of 'Oh yeah!' and those gave him some hope.

And the boy, Nate.

"Is he...my boyfriend?"

"WHAT? ABSOLUTELY NOT."

They both laugh.

"Well uh, he wants to come over. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, don't worry. You saw him when you woke up in the hospital."

"REALLY? To be honest he's kinda...good looking."

"True...You should probably let Nate know that he can come over."

"Oh, alright."

This was all weird to Mark. His sister wasn't usually this...open. She was never so naive. But, Mark knew that she was just going through something.

"Hey, remember when we went to Disneyland?" Mark asks her.

"Uhm...No...? Did we go at some point?"

"Oh uh....yeah...nevermind.."

That struck Mark real hard and he suddenly felt like crying. He thought the recent disney trip was a great memory maker, but now that he thought about it, it only made him feel so insignificant. The disney park was filled with so many people, and usually large crowds didn't bother him, but now...his mind kept racing along with the fast beat of his heart. What if he had died there? And who would even care?

It suddenly felt like his stomach was turning inside itself and so he runs to his bathroom.

Once Mark is ready to come out of the washroom. His eyes meet Nate and Mei sitting in the living room in awkward silence.

"Maybe you should let Mei listen to your songs, Nate. Might help with this—uhm..." Mark mumbles.

"Oh, sure. Hey you alright? Looking real pale." Nate says.

"Yeah, just got a head ache."

Nate puts on a playlist of Mei's favourite songs that he wrote.

"These songs are really awesome Nate. I can't believe how talented you are."

"Haha...Thanks. Uhm Mark, can I take her out for ice cream?"

"Whatever kid, as long as you bring her back by eight."

"Let's go?" Nate looks over at Mei with questioning eyes.

As does Mei, looking worriedly at Mark, asking for assurance that this whole set up was okay with him.

Mark nods.

"Sure. See you later Mark!" Mei cheers. She was excited for ice cream with this cute boy.

Mark was frozen as he listened to the two shut the door and leave with mumbling footsteps. That sound the door made almost made his heart shatter, like all of this weight was pushing down on an egg that had millions of cracks just waiting to splatter.

He swallows before heading into his room and lying on his bed.

He kinda felt...numb, but even when you're numb, you can still feel—something.

Maybe he wasn't numb then.

Thank God.

Suddenly Mark was lying on his bathroom floor. Which made him giggle. It reminded him of Shawn Mendes' "In my Blood" so what did he do? He turned it on and closed his eyes.

And cried.

He didn't want anyone to see, but it felt like someone was watching him.

Mocking him

Yes...Someone was watching.

By the time Mark woke up, the sky was dark grey and there was no sign of mr. sun.

He washes his face and heads outside to the kitchen to get water and sees Mei watching "Who Killed Markiplier"

The last scene was playing that showed the grey Darkiplier. Seeing him struck a chord in Mark. It almost made him literally fall over.

"Hey Mark."

"Hey Mei...You hungry?"

"Yeah...I wanna eat steak."

"I don't think we have any beef. I'll just order some."