Lauren POV
As I sit in the chair that has consumed me for the last one hundred and eighty two days, I shakily put down the nurses phone. I can't believe I just told her I love her.
Truth be told, I never stopped loving Camila. From the beginning, meeting her beautiful soul and getting to understand how her mind works, I have loved her. When I heard the hesitancy in her voice when I asked her to collect me from the hospital, I knew I couldn't not tell her the truth. I immensely regretted the way I treated her back when I was in the ICU, and I knew I had to make it up to her.
Camila is the kind of person to never put herself first. The reason she left me there in the hospital is because I told her to. She didn't do it from her own hatred of the situation, she did it from mine. To be completely honest, I did expect her to come back. I expected her to walk through the door to my hospital room with her hair wet from the shower (she never ever spent unnecessary time away from my bedside to do things like dry her hair or do her makeup), and puffy red eyes, as always. But she didn't come back, because I told her not to. She always did what she thought would benefit me, and what I wanted. She never took any time for herself; partly why I told her to leave.
I miss the way she would run her fingers through my hair, the way she would give me small kisses on my cheek and snuggle in next to me, the way she loved. Camila would always treat me like a princess, even when I was at my lowest. She would bring me coffee in the morning whether I asked for it or not. The little things, like bringing my favourite takeout home after she had a long day, or even when she was really tired, she would initiate sex that I could only have fantasised about before Camila and I.
The knowledge that Camila would be the one to pick me up from here was exciting yet extremely scary. The ideal situation would be her swanning in and scooping me out of my chair to give me the softest kiss, and carrying me out like a newly wedded wife. However, I knew fine well that this little fantasy would not be the case for when Camila arrives.
I begin packing all of my things that my mother brought in for me six months ago; my suitcase with all my cosy blankets, my sweatpants and leggings, my shirts and minimal makeup... and my sweatshirt that used to belong to Camila. I have never once been able to take my mind off of that girl, and never once has the universe let me. Little things that remind me of her pop up out of nowhere, and come to think of it, it is rather soothing. I take a large breath in as I bury my face in the sweater but all I could smell was hospital.
I know as soon as I step foot in Camila's car that I will be overwhelmed with her scent, and it is not something I look forward to as I know it will make me cry of happiness; I had promised myself I wouldn't cry.
The last six months have been filled with many, many therapist appointments, group meetings, meetings with my parents once a week, and most importantly, self care. I finally realised that my life was worth living, so long as I was focussed on the things I can control, enjoy and love. I knew I had to make amends with Camila the first day I arrived in here, I knew I couldn't control my life without her, I couldn't enjoy my life without her, and I couldn't love anybody else the way I loved her. I know what everyone must be thinking, I need to live my life for myself and by myself, but no one understands the love Camila and I share. Shared.
I just hope that when she arrives, she will be willing to take things incredibly slow this time. She will be willing to at least try with me again, because I know I could give her the life she deserves, the life of a princess.
A/N
Well, I hope you guys are enjoying so far! I will be updating as regularly as I can, I'm so glad after two years I'm able to write the sequel to this story :) thank you if you're back after first reading After All These Years in 2018, you guys are my OGs! Anyways, enjoy ❤️
