Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 5 - Father and Son

His arms around me loosened and he turned away from me as if he was slowly comprehending what I just told him. His mind was running a mile a minute but I knew he could not wrap his mind around it.

His face was not giving away what was going on in his mind, but I could see that he was joining, piece by piece, all the information he had received since he came to Seattle. Slowly, his expression turned into one of anguish, and slowly he started believing that what I had said was the truth.

"Noelle," he breathed, "We have a son?"

"Yes," I was still crying. Seeing the tears in his eyes, brought more to mine.

He fell silent, once more. I could imagine what he was thinking - how many moments had he missed in his son's life? He had no idea. He didn't even know his name - and had seen him only once in the school, that too from far far away.

"I have missed five whole years of my son's life - six, even more if I count your pregnancy."

By far, this was not the reaction I expected, but it was better than any screaming or blaming contest. Sebastian had always been a sensitive person - at least in front of me, he had always been expressive with his emotions. Along with that, he did have a temper back then, especially if it was something he was extremely emotional about.

There were high chances of him exploding on me and somehow blaming me for keeping his child away from him. But all that he could think about was his son.

I didn't reply. 

"What's his name?" he asked. "I don't even know his name." He murmured. 

"Nathaniel." I told him.

"No wonder you said things would have been different had I kept an eye on you." He laughed sardonically, "Is he the same child Akira was talking about?" 

"Yes." I nodded.

"I want to see him." His voice broke a little, and his face showed how much he wanted to see him from up close, and hold him close to him.

Sebastian had always been a traditional kind of man. He had wanted marriage and he wanted lots of children. It was definitely hard for him to know that his very first child was more than five years old and he had not been a part of his life.

"He'll be coming back in a while." I told him. For Nathan, it was going to be a very special surprise. 

I wasn't crying that bad anymore, just some sniffles here and there, while I watched Sebastian completely breaking down next to me. I put my hand to his knee and leaned my head against his shoulder. 

I wanted to comfort him while staying within my limits at the same time. Had we been together, things would have been so different.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He croaked out.

I was waiting for this question, and I searched for any hint of accusation, any hint of anger in his voice but I couldn't find any.

"I tried a lot - you had blocked all possible means of communication." I told him. It was the truth. Just because I was pregnant, I had pushed away all my fears just to once contact Sebastian without anyone knowing, but he was never alone. And the one time I tried...

"There must have been some way." He heaved.

"I was pregnant, Sebastian. There was no way I could fight off your stepfather's security." And when I had tried, I was eventually taken to his stepfather where I had been threatened to the inch of my life.

"Why didn't you tell me, when you met me for the first time, here?" He asked again.

"We were in public, I didn't know how you would react. I can't just blurt it out anywhere with everyone's eyes on us, you know that right?"