Love Is Not Enough

Chapter 6 - Disagreements

"This is so unreal to me." Sebastian flopped down on the couch, "My entire fucking life changed in a single day." I could see the wonder in his eyes and he relaxed back, "When I came to Seattle, I never even thought of such a possibility. I have a son, Noelle. I already love him so much, I - " He breathed, obviously feeling a little overwhelmed.

I could understand the feeling. I had experienced the same when I had held Nathan in my arms for the very first time. The love I felt, all the other emotions I felt - they were indescribable. There was no word that could help me explain what I felt in that moment. 

"He's so amazing, so smart, full of innocence - I feel like I missed out on so much." He sighed.

His words made me feel terrible - even though he was the one who blocked all contact, I knew that if he had learnt about my pregnancy, he would have left everything and come running to me. 

I could only imagine how Sebastian must be feeling.

"Well, you have a lifetime to fulfill all your responsibilities now -  to do the dad stuff," I told him, "Even if I am more than capable to provide for everything, he still needs you, his father to be there."

He looked at me, "I am a dad, wow, " he smiled, "I wish I knew sooner. Bringing him up alone must have been difficult for you."

"Yes it was." I chuckled, "When we were together, I had become so dependent on you that becoming independent, all alone, had become one of the hardest things I had to do. But," I added, "Whisky was a great help, and my baby boy is an angel. It's all worth it."

And that was the truth. When Sebastian and I had been together, I had been a lot less ambitious, a lot younger, and even though I did have dreams, my life primarily revolved around my love for Sebastian. At that time, nothing had been more important for me - the only thing that mattered was Sebastian's happiness.

Everything that followed that period of my life was only a harsh lesson.

Sebastian said out of nowhere, "I'll call mom and tell her the news."

"No!" I yelled abruptly, and then I realised I might sound suspicious, "I mean, wait a little, please. I'm not ready to face anything else at the moment. Both of us have a lot of things to settle already, you know."

"What do we have to settle?" Sebastian frowned at me, turning on the couch and facing me completely.

I was disoriented for a moment, because it suddenly felt like he was sitting too close.

I cleared my throat, "Well, I'm sure you have to go back to your city someday." That was quite obvious. I was hoping that he would go back soon, "So we will have to schedule the visits - "

"Visits?" He asked incredulously, "The two of you are coming with me. Noelle, you and I are going to get married." He said decisively, "We are going to stay together like a real family. Nathan doesn't deserve half-assed visits."

What the fuck was wrong with him? Marriage?

The thought sent shivers full of horror down my spine.

"You decided all of that without even talking to me about it?" I narrowed my eyes at him, "Do you even know what you're saying?"

"What I said is the most logical solution to this arrangement." He retorted.

"I'm not going to marry you, Sebastian," I gritted my teeth, "None of us are going anywhere, we'll figure out a way."

"I'm not keen on marrying you, either, Noelle." Looking at his face, I knew he was going to say something that would piss me off, "I have no interest in being in a loveless marriage with an unfaithful woman. I'm doing this so that our son does not have to fucking choose."