The Nanny

Month 2

I'm not one to snoop, but I can't help but wonder. Why continue a career so far away from your family, it seems like he's not even fazed. She's never even here and doesn't call the kids at all. They barely know their mother. Today Rae was working in the office. He said he'd be back after dinner and not to worry about cooking for him. The kids were down for their naps so I took advantage of my time alone and slipped into his home office. His desk not very organized which is surprising because of how organized the rest of the house is. I skimmed through the pages on his desk but most of it was legal stuff nothing that caught my attention. I started looking through the drawers until I found a small little notebook tucked away in the last drawer. I opened the book and noticed that it was a journal he kept with his thoughts. Bingo. I flipped to the page dated to the day she left for this last trip 2 months ago. 

7/9/10

I hate how much she leaves. We're barely even together as it is. Just makes it harder with the kids. What is a nanny going to do? Nothing. A mother should want to spend time with her children but as soon as she gets here all she does it complain until its time for her to leave again. She doesn't even care about our relationship let alone the kids. None of us ever hear from her. 

I closed the book and took a deep breath. I've seen more than enough. This was a bad idea. Poor guy does a good job of hiding it. I couldn't help but feel bad for him and what he's going through but also for violating his privacy. This was a mistake I shouldn't be here. As I began to put the book back as the door to the office opened and we both froze.

"What're you doing in my office?" He questioned. 

"I..uh..I was looking for paper for the kids to draw." I said the first thing that came to mind but he knew the truth.

He stepped into the room and he closed the door behind him, at the same time I dropped the book into the drawer and pushed it closed with my leg. The book made a louder thud than I was anticipating and Rae's face went pale. 

"What and how much did you read?"

"I just couldn't figure out why and how she can be gone from her husband and her children so much and for so long. I only read the page from the day she left. I didn't read all of it but enough. I know I-" I started rambling and he cut me off.

"Why didn't you just ask me?" I could hear the hurt in his voice.

"Its not my business and I know that so I wasn't going to but then my mind kept wondering and I couldn't figure it out but I didn't know how to ask so I snooped. But I know it was wrong and I didn't mean to and I'm sorry I feel horrible but I-" He cut me off again.

"I can't tell you the answer either but I'm here and that's all that matters for them. Just stay out of my office unless I'm here and you need me. Paper is in their room which you already knew. Lets just pretend this didn't happen. Now if you'll excuse me I have work to do. Where are the children?" I could tell he was frustrated.

"Napping."

"Okay I got them tonight so just go home for the weekend I'll see you Monday." I nodded and left the room. I felt horrible. 

I gathered some of my things and made my way out of the house. Rae and I had just become friends I wasn't just the nanny but I fear I just ruined that. I called Kate and told her everything as  I made the drive home. She suggested we go out for drinks tonight and honestly nothing sounded better after the day I had. I couldn't help but think about how shitty I felt. I made my way into the bedroom and began getting ready for the bar. I took a quick shower before putting on makeup and slipping into a tight dress. I curled my hair and met Kate and Dalton in the kitchen. Dalton drove us to the bar where they danced the night away drink after drink. 

I still couldn't get Rae off my mind. I couldn't imagine being in his shoes but tonight is for me. I went to the bar and after a few drinks made my way to the dance floor. I bumped into a man on the way. He had dark brown hair cut nicely and emerald green eyes. We laughed and began dancing. He seemed nice but that could just be the alcohol talking. After a few hours of dancing and some more drinks he grabbed my hand and started pulling me to the door.

"Wait, I wanna dance more!" I drunkenly said.

"We'll be dancing alright." He mumbled.

"She said she wants to dance. She doesn't want to go with you." A second man chimed in. His voice was very familiar but my back was to him so I wasn't able to see his face.

"No we're fine I'm just taking her home she's had a few too many."

"No I came with Kate I'm fine I just wanna dance!" I began trying to get out from the mans hold on my hand.

"See just let her go man." I could now see the second man trying to help me and it was Rae.

Oh boy. He sends me home for the weekend and sees me out at a bar this can't be good.

"Whatever I'm out of here." The man the left and it was just Rae and I.

"You know you didn't have to help I would have been fine." I wanted more than anything to be back in my bed and as far away from him as I could be right now.

"Just because of our incident earlier does not mean I don't care for you. I don't want anything to happen to the nanny the kids love." Rae was trying to make light of the situation.

"Well thanks." We talked a little more before we agreed it was best for him to take me home. "Where are the kids anyways?"

"I took them to my moms for the weekend she misses them and sometimes I need a break." I shook my head and went back to looking out the window. 

We got to my apartment and Rae helped me inside. I had started to sober up but I know he was just trying to make sure I was okay.

"Can I get you anything to eat or drink?" I offered.

"No I'm okay."

"Well you're welcome to stick around if you would like but if you need to get home I understand." Part of me wanted him to stay but I had to remind myself that I'm just the nanny.

"I've got nowhere else to be but I'm also not quite ready to go back if you don't mind."

Rae sat on my bed while I took my makeup off and we just talked about anything and everything. We've aways just clicked in a way. We can talk for hours about anything under the sun. I sat down next to him and rested my head on his shoulder. We sat in silence for a moment but I could feel his gaze on me. I felt his fingers touch my chin softly and pull my head up towards him. We both leaned in until our lips met. I put my hands around his neck and his arm went around my back laying me down on the bed softly while his other hand grabbed on my waist. He was now hovering over me as we continued to share passion filled kisses. I brought my hands down to his waist and pulled his shirt over his head. We both froze for a moment just staring into each others eyes before our lips met again. His hand slipped under my dress and up my thigh. Shortly after we were interrupted by the sound of keys jingling. Kate was home. We pulled apart and Rae put his shirt back on. There was a moment of uncomfortable silence and neither of us knew what to say.

"I should go." Rae started gathering his things.

"Yeah probably best." I stood up and pulled my dress back down. 

We made our way to the living room and Kate was no where to be seen. She must be in her room. 

"I'll see you." Before I could even respond Rae was already out the door. 

I took a deep breath trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. 

"Um who was that?" Kate must've saw him leaving.

"That was uh Rae...he saw me at the bar and took me home and then one thing led to another."

"You're sleeping with your boss!" The look on her face was between surprised but also glad it was very strange. 

"Well no but if you would have come home later probably. I don't really know. I uh I'm just gonna go to bed."

I was still trying to process everything that just happened and I had no idea what to say. I made my way to my room to lay down. As soon as my head hit the pillow my eyes closed. What a day.